Blind date

EVErY week we send a couple out on a blind date. This week, 54-year-old Phil Boys had lunch at The Angel, in Bury St Edmunds, with Carol King, 58. Phil is a chartered surveyor living in Soham, Cambridgeshire, and has never been married. Carol lives in Bury St Edmunds, Suffolk, works for the NHS and is divorced with three grown-up children.

CAROL, 58, SAYS:

I’VE BEEN happily divorced for five years, after 30 years of marriage. My husband left me for someone else, although sadly she died and he’s now on his own.

We are amicable though, because having kids and grandchildren means you should be. And what’s the point in being miserable? No one likes miserable people.

I’ve had no new relationships since, unless you count lots of fun dating for about 18 months before I went to Saudi Arabia to work in a school for a year — there was no fun there as it wasn’t appropriate to date.

Since I’ve been back I haven’t really had time or the inclination to meet someone, but now I’m feeling ready.

I work hard in the NHS, play the cello in an orchestra in my spare time and spend time with my grandchildren when I can. But my kids are all grown up and my grandchildren are growing up too, and I think my family would like me to meet someone — they keep telling me to go out and do something for myself. In fact my son even dropped me off and picked me up from this date.

When I first saw Phil I thought he had very nice eyes. He’s tall and looked quite smart, but I don’t think I fancied him — there wasn’t any instant feeling of attraction.

Internet dating is dire and I haven’t been on a date for years, so I was nervous and excited. It was easy from the moment we met, though. We had a gin each at the bar first, and got talking about everything, from music to books and films. Although there were a few things we didn’t agree on — he doesn’t like Star Wars whereas I’m a big fan — we also had a lot in common.

He told me about his upbringing and how he’s now looking after his mum. I’m close to my family so I liked the fact he was doing his bit. He explained he’s met quite a lot of ladies over the years but never found ‘the One’.

Then he started saying how he wanted to get married. I was going to leave it at that, but it came up again, so I did mention that I don’t feel the same — I am never planning to marry again.

I think he’s looking for the wife, dog, house — the whole package. I’ve been there and got those things, which are nice, but I don’t have the man. I think perhaps he’s looking for someone to look after him, which I just don’t want to do with anyone.

As we went out, he said, ‘Well, it’s been lovely but there’s no romance, is there?’ and I respect him for his honesty. I’m basically looking for a nice guy who I can start to build a relationship with and see where it takes us, but Phil seems very set on a serious romance.

I’d like to date someone intelligent and caring, but most of all I want a person who makes me laugh.

Money’s not a driving factor, but I want someone who’s kind and not just out for a good time.

I’m not high maintenance and I’m happy going for walks on the beach or in the countryside, or to a good pub with good food.

Although I’m curvy, I’m reasonably fit and happy to go to the gym — although I always struggle to find the time, I admit — and I’d like to meet someone who looks after themselves, but doesn’t want me to join them on a marathon!

I think Phil is fairly cultured and likes to get out, and we did laugh a lot, so I would like to meet up with him again as friends. Perhaps he could be a good companion for a trip to the theatre.

The Angel is lovely and we both really enjoyed the food, so the date was a positive experience for me. I think sometimes people can build something from friendship — other times, friendship is enough. Who knows? LIKES: Nice eyes and smile. REGRETS: None. CAB/COFFEE: Coffee.

Verdict: 9/10

PHIL, 54, SAYS:

I’VE never married — I was open and willing but it just didn’t happen, for whatever reason.

I’ve had long-term relationships over the years, but my last one ended about four years ago.

I’ve tried to use Tinder a few times but the only interest I seem to get is from people in Brazil or men! I’m not going to use the internet again — I think you need to approach it with huge caution as there are so many scammers out there. Still, I would like to meet someone I can develop something serious with. It has to be right — I want to look forward to seeing that special person. I want butterflies and chemistry. I’d love to find the One.

I was nervous so got to the restaurant early and had a G&T to relax. When Carol walked in, I thought she seemed lovely and nicely dressed, but knew she probably wasn’t my type.

I think both women and men know if you’re going to fancy someone, so perhaps that is why we relaxed easily into friendship.

From the word go, we were able to chat easily. She is a warm, artistic person. She told me that if she won the lottery she would set up a performing arts centre, which is brilliant. She goes to the theatre and is a family person, so we had a lot in common.

It’s been so long since I’ve been on a date that I Googled what you should do and, more importantly, not do. As a result, I didn’t delve too deeply into past relationships, and we focused on travel and our lives in general.

The food was excellent and the hotel very pleasant. We ordered beef with Yorkshire pudding, and dessert. We shared a bottle of champagne and had coffee, too.

The date was a really positive experience, but I wanted to be honest, so as we left I suggested there wouldn’t be any romance, but if she was interested we could go out to the theatre sometime.

I appreciate that she has a very full life with work and family, but it might be good for her to try something new. I told her she might even meet a guy she likes, as it’s unlikely that Prince Charming will come knocking! It’s so much harder to meet people at this stage I think, as you’re either out with mates or on your own.

Carol is a delightful lady, and it was a nice way to spend an afternoon in convivial company.

LIKES: Her positivity and her openness. REGRETS: None.

CAB/COFFEE: Coffee.

Verdict: 9/10

We had fun, but I had to tell him that I’ll NEVER marry again

I want chemistry and butterflies. I’d love to find the One