Straight to the POINT

A KNIGHTHOOD for Nick Clegg? No doubt for services to U-turns. J. WALMSLEY, Bury, Gtr Manchester.

THE only good thing about the award of a knighthood to Nick Clegg is that it would be another kick in the teeth for Billy-no-title, Tony Blair. CHRIS PATE, Worcester.

TO BE PC and gender compliant, how long will it be before women . . . er . . . females . . . er . . . ladies . . . er . . . girls . . . Oh dear, what am I allowed to say? TONY HORRICKS, Sutton-in Craven, N. Yorks.

NO ONE realised how PC it would become when the Trans Pennine Express was named. STEPHEN PERKINS, Grimsby.

ISN’T It wonderful the police can re-open Damian Green’s case after a decade? Will they now look into my burglary 20 years ago? ANTHONY T. RUSH, Manningtree, Essex.

NO ROYAL Mail stamp for Brexit? The stamp we had on joining in 1973 could be revised — the Union Flag in the jigsaw could equally well be leaving as joining. The only change needed would be updating the price fom 3p to 56p. PHILIP STOY, Crickhowell, Powys.

FORGET the fancy recipes for leftovers. It has to be bubble and squeak with HP sauce. Yum! YVONNE SULLIVAN, Holmfirth, W. Yorks.

NECESSARY attributes to be a professional cyclist: be asthmatic and have varicose veins, a calloused rear end and hairless limbs. For a professional footballer: a daft haircut! DAVE STURMAN, Romford, Essex.

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