The dating profile that WILL find you love
Be ruthless with photos. Say you adore football — and the movie Love Actually. Top experts reveal...
January can be a miserable month, especially if you’re single and longing not to be. according to Match Group, there’s a 60 per cent rise in new registrations for online daters in the three weeks to January 22.
The over-50s represent nearly eight million singles in the UK. Psyching yourself up to enter the fray can be intimidating.
So how do you create the dream dating profile? How flirty should your picture be? What are the classic mistakes people make? and can you really shave a few years off your age — if everyone else seems to be doing it?
We asked the experts . . .
THE PICTURE DO SELFIES LOOK VAIN?
‘avoid selfies at all costs!’ says eharmony’s dating expert, verity Hogan. ‘Profiles using extreme close-ups receive around half as many messages as those with waist-up or full-length shots.
‘ask a close friend to help you — it’ll help you to relax.’ Kate Taylor works for ourtime,
(ourtime.co.uk), Match’s older sister, aimed at 50-plus daters. She says: ‘i’d recommend taking lots of photos and experiment — try a different one each week and track your responses.
‘your profile is never set in stone, so switch it up. But avoid time-sensitive pictures (Christmassy shots age quickly) and photos of you holding a drink.
‘any kind of alcohol scores really badly in research.’
For Louise Troen, Bumble’s international brand director, a profile photo is about conveying your ‘true personality’. dating apps have moved away from ‘edited, polished images’ in favour of more natural photos.
IT’S FLATTERING BUT OLD
OUT-OF-DATE pictures don’t work, says Kate. ‘as soon as he sees you in real life, he’ll feel cheated. use a current photo (within a year) and trust that you’ll attract men who’ll be happy with you just as you are.’
Bumble’s Louise thinks there is room for flexibility: ‘if it’s one from 2011 when you swam with dolphins and loved it, then put it on there. especially if it honestly reflects who you are now.’
HOW MANY PHOTOS?
‘THE more photos you include, the more messages you’re likely to receive,’ says verity. ‘include some that show you doing the things you love — in your favourite city or playing your favourite sport. aim for five or six.’
‘Women should add a selection, but remember: you are only as good-looking as your least-flattering picture!’ warns Kate.
‘With so much choice online, we all get into a state of mind where we’re looking to screen people out, so make sure you don’t have one bad photo that makes people click away.’
THE BLURB SHORT IS SWEET
WRITE your profile biog as if to a potential date, advises Kate. ‘visualise your ideal reader and address him. Keep it short, fun and light. Women love reading long profile texts — but i feel it discourages male readers.
‘Spend 80 per cent of your time and energy creating your profile pictures and 20 per cent on text.’
verity thinks you shouldn’t be afraid to go into depth. ‘use examples to draw readers in. Show lots of enthusiasm. Think happy confidence. Flirting doesn’t have to be overt and you should never do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.’
Louise’s golden rules are: ‘Say what your passions are on a daily basis and show them in your pictures. describe your personality — if you’re a joker or shy. Then you’re more likely to meet someone who genuinely likes you. and finally, smile!’
CAN I LOSE TWO YEARS?
IT’S up to you, says Kate. ‘Would knocking two years off put you into the decade below i.e. you’re 51 now and you’d go into the 40s bracket?’ she asks. ‘if so, it would probably increase your chances of coming up in more searches. But you’d have lied.’
Louise agrees: ‘Whether it’s a one-night stand or a 20-year partnership, it should be rooted in honesty and integrity. and if you compromise that in the initial stages, the likelihood of it being successful is lower.’
MY FAVOURITE MOVIE
‘Be SPECIFIC,’ says Kate. ‘if both members of a couple love horror films or hate them, they’re often in sync in other ways.’
verity says: ‘if you’re more into runaway Bride than rambo, don’t despair; just mentioning a love of film on your dating profile could increase the messages.
‘a study found that Love, actually is one of the most attractive films for men — women who list it as a favourite on their profile receive a third more messages.’
MEET AN ADVENTURER
‘Travel is one of the most attractive interests for both sexes,’ says verity. ‘People who mention a love of travelling receive more messages.
‘Mentioning countries you’re keen to visit is a great way to show a little personality — and provide a talking point for that all-important opening message.’
WHAT IF I HATE SPORT?
‘SPORTY women definitely attract interest online,’ says verity. ‘our data shows women who love football are the most attractive to men, although keen swimmers and women who work out at military-style boot camps also score highly.’
Kate adds: ‘Make it easy for someone to imagine being in your life. That means putting a less solitary spin on your interests. instead of saying, “i love listening to music” say, “i love going to concerts”. Then you’ve created an instant date in his mind.’
...AND HEAVY METAL?
‘ROCK and pop is the most attractive music genre, with r&B a distant second,’ verity reports. ‘Being a fan of Queen, u2, Foo Fighters and oasis could lead to an uplift in messages. and art and photography are among the most attractive interests for women to have.’
it’s good to share your music tastes, says Louise. ‘Bumble has a partnership with digital music service Spotify, so you can hear each other’s playlist. if they love heavy metal and you hate it, perhaps avoid.’
DO I MENTION THE KIDS?
‘IF your children are still living with you, then let a potential partner know early on,’ says verity. ‘They are an important part of your life and you don’t want to waste time with people who won’t understand that.’
THE DEALBREAKERS
‘ANYTHING that hints you’d be “hard work”: mentioning your ex; seeming cynical or jaded,’ says Kate. ‘or being so busy, there’s no room for anyone else.
‘remember, you’re writing for men who are looking for a woman to spend time with — so just speak to them like you would if you met in a social group.’