Golf is an acquired taste, but a truly magical one

A NATIONAL survey portraying golf as the most boring sport, with an approval rating not much above what you might expect for watching paint dry, might seem the perfect gift for this column returning from a winter break.

Cue paroxysms of outrage, railing against an ungrateful British public for their erroneous opinion of our magical sport?

Certainly, golf’s leaders were predictably aghast, and understandably swift to stick up for the game they represent.

But, if we’re being really honest here, we ought to admit we can see where the public are coming from. Golf, essentially, is a boring sport. It’s designed to be boring. It takes for ever to play — at least in a world where so many people wile away their time composing thoughts in 140 characters — with a set of rules so complex they’re beyond all but the most avid bores.

How can it compete for an instant fix alongside a 100 metres race, where the only requirement asked of a viewer is to keep your gaze on a screen for a shade under ten seconds? or a tennis match, where the rules are so simple and the demands so easy on the eye?

Golf and cricket — another major sport that scored badly — ask so much of a viewer it’s hardly surprising so many people can’t be bothered to make the effort.

The Royal and Ancient game, of course, doesn’t help itself with rounds now frequently taking five hours and a history of rules decisions so devoid of common sense it’s embarrassing. Belatedly, our governing bodies are finally trying to do something about both these things.

The truth of the matter, though, is that golf will never score highly in such polls. It really isn’t for everyone. It’s like reading a book. It’s time-consuming and requires serious levels of concentration but, oh, what a world awaits if you knuckle down.

That’s why people who do love golf or reading books or watching cricket tend to be such devotees.

If you think golf’s boring, I wouldn’t seek to convince you otherwise. I get it.

However, just as hardback book sales refuse to dip, there will remain enough of us with an appetite for sports that fall back on the old adage: ‘The more you put into it, the more you get out of it.’