The dastardly Mr Deedes

Shouldn’t Prince Harry and his brideto-be Meghan Markle swing by Royal Bank of Scotland’s headquarters during their trip to Edinburgh next week? For all its travails, RBS’s private arm, Coutts, remains the royal banker. And an appearance might please both the Queen and Prince Charles, who both deeply regretted ex-boss Fred Goodwin’s plight after the support he’d given to their charities. Perhaps PR savvy Meghan’s newly-appointed assistant, ex-RBS press officer Amy Pickerill, could grease the wheels.

Deutsche Bank’s London offices are on an expenses crackdown. Staff racked up a vast £890,000 taxi bill last year, with some bankers spending as much as £27,000 a year on cars. The cost-cutting drive comes after glum-faced boss John Cryan, 57, announced the bank’s third consecutive annual loss last week. How long before the DB board are calling a cab for Cryan?

Morgan Stanley’s Aussie chief James Gorman, 59, says he gives himself an annual fitness test the night before his birthday, which consists of ten 500-metre sprints on his rowing machine, completing each one in under two minutes. He explains: ‘For me, physical fitness is a really important part of keeping on top and in the game.’ Doubtless Gorman’s annual £19m paycheque keeps him pretty sharp too.

Hargreaves Lansdown’s £2.2m-a-year boss Chris Hill is chuffed with the investment firm’s Active Savings account, which he hopes will help lure customers over from banks and building societies. Hill tells me he enlisted his 82-year-old mother to test the product’s user-friendliness. Mrs Hill ‘absolutely loves it’ you may not be altogether surprised to learn.

Respected Bank of International Settlements chief Agustin Carstens decries bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies as unsafe. Shouldn’t Senor Carstens, 59, also be subject to a public safety warning? Generously described as a ‘gourmand’, the former Bank of Mexico governor tips the scales somewhere north of 23 stone. Unkind sorts suggest his heaving avoirdupois once ruled him out the IMF job.