Stalked by a boyfriend who won’t let me go
MY HEART goes out to the family of Molly McLaren, the 23-year-old student who was knifed to death by her former boyfriend. Joshua Stimpson, who had stalked Molly for months after she ended their relationship, was jailed for life this week (Mail). I have been the victim of stalking by a former boyfriend and would like other young women to be aware of the warning signs. Like Molly, I met my first boyfriend on a dating app when I was 20 and he was 26. For the first three months of our relationship, he couldn’t do enough for me. But gradually he became obsessive and would book holidays and events up to six months in advance. I now realise this was a way to control me and make it harder to break up with him. He would get aggressive and shout at me before apologising and offering to buy me presents if I promised not to tell anyone how he had treated me. Then he started to cause arguments between me and my family, trying to turn me against them. I tried breaking up with him after five months, but he wouldn’t let go. We finally agreed to have a one-week break with no contact, but even during that time he would turn up at my house and sweet-talk my mum. We got back together for another two months before I plucked up the courage to tell my family what he was really like and ended the relationship. But that was only the beginning of the nightmare. He would wait outside my house in different cars and, even though I had blocked him on social media and his phone number, he would ring me countless times a day. If I answered, he would shout abuse and tell me that if I didn’t go back to him he would kill himself. He would turn up at clubs and restaurants when I was on nights out with friends, follow me and shout at me. This went on for six months. One night when I was out with friends, he turned up and started shouting at me and the police were called. After filing a report, I was told he would be sent a harassment letter, but he refused to sign it. I tried to get an injunction, but this was turned down. I was shocked to be told: ‘Well, he hasn’t threatened you with a knife.’ I went travelling for a few months, and since I got home I have seen my ex twice, when he stood and stared at me. The situation still causes me anxiety, but I am learning to deal with it. Though Women’s Aid did little for me other than send me contact numbers and leaflets in the post, I would urge other young women who are being stalked by an ex to seek their help.
Name and address supplied.