Ephraim Hardcastle

WITH the Queen relinquishing her role as head of the Commonwealth after next month’s biennial summit in London, she retains hopes that her grandson Prince Harry will change his mind and accept the role of de facto roving ambassador, filling the vacuum created by her retirement. With Prince Charles favourite to replace the Queen, Harry has reportedly turned down the envoy idea twice in the past two years. But with fiancee Meghan at his side (she’s expressed enthusiasm for the international body) he might be persuaded to pack his pith helmet and follow the lifelong example of his granny by visiting some of the 53 far-flung countries that comprise the Commonwealth. Meghan Markle should count herself lucky she didn’t suffer a major drenching when she allowed Justin Welby, Archbishop of Canterbury, to baptise her at Windsor on Tuesday. The 62-year old prelate is an enthusiast for total immersion of what the Prayer Book calls those of ‘riper years’. Fortunately the Archbishop confined himself to a dribble of River Jordan holy water to welcome Meghan into the Church of England. DAME Helen Mirren, 72, pictured, applauded by fans for daring to publicise ‘before and after’ photographs of herself preparing for the Oscars (the first unflattering picture shows her make-up free) is a brand ambassador for cosmetics giant L’Oreal. She memorably put her foot in it last year after remarking that using the moisturiser ‘probably does f*** all’. FOLLOWING bumbling bruiser Lord Prescott’s latest Twitter rant – taking aim at defence secretary Gavin Williamson – feisty Tory MP Nadine Dorries mischievously claims the verbally incontinent politician isn’t the true author. With Prezza’s ex-PR man son David, these days a Corbyn aide, widely considered to be the tweeter, Dorries asks: ‘David, when are you going to stop pretending to be your dad and tweeting out of his account? It’s been so long now, it’s kind of weird. John can barely work his own phone. He was caught red-handed unable to do Twitter. Pack it in now. Game was up ages ago.’ Strangely no response as yet from Prezza senior or junior! FORMER Labour MP Denis MacShane, 69 who went to prison for fiddling his parliamentary expenses, was making a nuisance of himself at yesterday’s British Chambers of Commerce conference at Westminster’s QE2 centre. Former Europe minister MacShane, a rampant Europhile, had managed to wangle himself admission as a delegate. Rather than sit in the hall he made straight for the press room, where free food and drink was available, and spent the day trying to spin reporters into taking a pro-EU line. Was someone paying him? Endearingly daft Chanel designer Karl Lagerfeld, 84, tells Vanity Fair that he and his Birman cat Choupette, 6, speak to each other through the expression in their eyes. Noting that his new white whiskers make him look like the cat, the magazine adds: ‘A divine pampered creature whom the designer wishes he could marry.’ Is there a designer doctor in the house?