It’s wonderful that my son is still making a mark on the world
DAWN BRIDGWOOD, 53, a foster carer, and her husband Graham, 60, also a foster carer, live in Newcastle-under-Lyme, Staffordshire, with their son Dylan, 17, who had a liver transplant in 2006 after June Payne, 65, a tutor from Newcastle upon Tyne, donated her son Jonathan’s organs.
DAWN SAYS: June’s son has saved mine — and that brings a closeness no other friendship can have. Dylan is now the same age as Jonathan was when he died, and that is very poignant.
We first met up at Newcastle United football ground, as Dylan is an avid football fan and so was Jonathan. That day, June gave me a print of a statue in Newcastle that has the inscription: ‘The past is my present to your future’. It was very emotional.
I first wrote to June 12 years ago: getting that first letter back was so lovely. I’d always felt bad her son had to lose his life for mine to get on with his, so her letter made me feel a bit better, although very emotional, too. I was glad she knew Dylan was well, that her decision had been worth it. As a mum, I would want to know that.
I wrote back with a picture of Dylan and told June how poorly he’d been and that I couldn’t thank her enough.
Before the transplant we were living on a knife-edge, in and out of hospital. Dylan was born with biliary atresia, a life-threatening liver condition which meant he needed a transplant at nine months old. It failed and he needed a second one at five. The 11-week wait was awful as we’d seen other children lose their fight. But since the transplant, Dylan has made a remarkable recovery; he’s so strong — and it’s all thanks to June and her brave decision.
After that letter there was no more contact for a while. It can be risky getting in touch: what happens if the recipient rejects the organ, will the donor family feel they’re losing their loved one again? I didn’t want to put us or June through that.
But after a few years I decided to look for her on Facebook, to let her know Dylan was still well: I couldn’t bear to think of her wondering and not knowing.
I messaged her in 2013 and asked if the dates of the transplant meant anything. She replied at 11pm one night and we messaged until 4am.
We started chatting every week, then met a month later. June brought her grandchildren and Jonathan’s nan, sister and auntie. Now, we message each other most weeks and meet when we can, going for meals and to the football, just like a big family.
JUNE SAYS: Jonathan was the youngest of our four children and his loss has been devastating. He died after being hit by a bus. He’d seen a TV show about transplants a few weeks before and said what a good idea they were, so we didn’t think he’d hesitate. He helped six people and I received a letter from five, but it’s only Dawn I’ve kept in touch with.
It’s upsetting when you first get those letters but it does ease some of the anguish to know my son’s still making a mark on the world. I hope I’ll see Dylan doing all the things I wanted for Jonathan — his first job, getting married — knowing it’s because of my son that he can.
DYLAN SAYS: Mum had told me some donor families like to touch the part of the body where the organ was transplanted so when I met June when I was 15, I asked if she’d like to do this, which she did. Everyone was in tears and she gave me a hug. I’m so grateful for what she did for me.