The dastardly Mr Deedes

TSB’s Spanish owners Banco Sabadell issued a press release yesterday trumpeting the ‘successful completion’ of its IT system, which, it said proved the bank’s technological skill ‘not only in the domestic market but also internationally’. Que? The upgrade was a pig’s breakfast, leaving thousands unable to make payments or even access their accounts. Small wonder customers are threatening to desert in droves. An eloquent, albeit unlikely, tribute to deceased Swedish dance DJ Avicii from illustrious Serco chief Rupert Soames, who tweets: ‘As a faded and amateur DJ, I am so sad to hear of Avicii’s death. It is a curse of the human condition that great talent too often trots harnessed to physical frailty and emotional fragility.’ Before embarking on a City career, Soames, 58, spun discs for high-spirited Hoorays at Annabel’s. Male visitors to the International Monetary Fund’s recent spring meeting in Washington discovered anti-harassment leaflets distributed in the lavatories, advising them how to behave appropriately around members of the opposite sex. A trifle rich, considering the previous antics of ex- IMF chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn, 68, whose amorous behaviour resembled Pepé Le Pew, the cartoon skunk whose dubious Gallic charms left romantic targets scampering for the hills. Arsenal supporters Tidjane Thiam of Credit Suisse, Robey Warshaw’s Simon Robey and Jupiter Asset Management’s Maarten Slendebroek all offered gracious acknowledgements to the club’s manager, Arsene Wenger, who is departing after 22 years. No such homily from Paul Singer, boss of ruthless hedge fund Elliott, who follows the Gunners’ games in a local bar near his home in Manhattan’s Upper West Side. Unsmiling Mr Singer, 73, doesn’t do acknowledgements. Nor gracious, as far as we know. Tip of the hat to PR company FTI Consulting which took all of two minutes to exploit yesterday’s royal birth announcement by sending an email on behalf of its client, wealth managers Brewin Dolphin, advising new parents to ‘Build a Nest Egg Fit for a Prince’ by investing in a pension. Shameless!