NICOLE’S KIDDING

HAVING won a Golden Globe and an Emmy for playing an abused wife in the TV series Big Little Lies, Nicole Kidman says she was so traumatised by the role that she would ‘cry and feel very distressed’ after filming. Oh Nicole, get over it! You’re happily married to a very rich country singer with a couple of kids and a personal fortune of around £260 million. The only abuse you’ve ever had to endure is from the critics. ALL eyes were on recently engaged Princess eugenie’s hat — embroidered with the word ‘love’ — at a Buckingham Palace garden party. And jolly good, too, as it distracted attention from her hideous frock, a froufrou concoction probably chosen by her mum Fergie the Frump and usually found only on cheap toy dolls. JAMIe OLIVer has rightly spent a decade fat-shaming parents who stuff their kids with cakes, burgers, chips and fizzy drinks and has called for Tony the frosties Tiger to be culled. yet his online food Tube channel has been using furi, the cartoon character from the hit children’s online game Moshi Monster, to promote muffins containing loads of sugar.

As an admirer, please don’t tell me our much-loved naked Chef has become nakedly avaricious. THE latest woman PC to sue Scotland Yard for racial and sexual bullying is Swedish-born Alexandra Kunicki. She cites in evidence that colleagues hid her chair when she went off to make a cup of tea. Given Kunicki also admits that while a PC she consumed 112 units of alcohol a week, it shouldn’t have been her chair they removed, but her warrant card.