PATIENCE REALLY IS A VIRTUE WITH AGE

My husband, Eddie, has had dementia for the past ten years. In all that time, until now, I’ve barely left his side.

I have learned that being extremely patient with him and speaking gently is key to making life easier for both of us. There’s no point in losing one’s temper if he seems slow to do something, whether it’s getting out of a chair, finishing a meal or answering a question.

When other people try to hurry him, he goes into a kind of lock-down where his whole body turns rigid.

he has always been such a kind man, and I don’t resent caring for him at all. but I do miss his wisdom. he can hold a fairly superficial conversation — he might say he wants to see the roses or that he feels hot — but he can’t talk much about more complex subjects because he doesn’t remember things.

he used to have such a remarkable brain. That’s the great sadness of it. I’d be in the north somewhere, trying to find a stage door, and he’d be able to give me precise directions from London. he knew every theatre in every town.

Last year, we had to leave our old house in London — where I’d lived for 54 years — because I felt it would be too difficult to manage if we got to the wheelchair stage (in fact, he can still walk well with a frame), but I love our new flat in the country. I’m a glass half-full person.

being back in the theatre after all that time away has been a great adventure, though I do worry about him without me. I can’t leave him completely alone, so I have some kind people to look after him when I’m not there.

yes, it takes lots of patience to play endless games of dominoes or Chinese chequers, which is what makes Eddie happy now, but I don’t mind. The point of it is to make this calm time of his life as gentle and contented as it can be.

An Ideal Husband will be broadcast live from the Vaudeville Theatre, in London, to cinemas across the UK and Ireland on June 5 at 7.15pm, oscarwildecinema.com.