Is it just ME?

Or are kitchens now way too smart?

NOW I understand exactly how horrified Mrs Patmore felt when her kitchen at Downton Abbey was invaded by an electric mixer after she’d spent decades whisking egg whites by hand.

What started as a pleasing project — replacing my tatty kitchen with a pristine new one — has become Kitchen Hell as I am bombarded with gadgetry designed to streamline my life, raise my weekday suppers to Michelin standard and leave me with a hob that could hobnob with those in Hello! magazine.

The last time I installed a kitchen was 1984, so I admit to being a tad out of touch.

According to one friend, who does all the cooking in his household, his steam oven has changed his life and I’d be ‘mad’ not get one. Another pal said I’d be ‘crazy’ not to have an induction hob, despite having to buy all new stainless steel saucepans for it to work.

Then there’s the newfangled flooring. Forget common-or-garden tiles or wood — poured resin is apparently the way to go these days, at a very hightech cost, too.

And so it goes on. Do I want lighting in my drawers? Worktops? There is so much choice I want to knock my head against a piece of granite.

I could get a fridge that’s connected to the internet and takes photos of the contents every time I open and close the door. That way, if I’m low on eggs while I’m trawling the supermarket, my fridge can tell me. Shopping lists are so last century.

All I really want is a kitchen in which I can roast a chicken, bake a cake, and enjoy a supper with friends. But I’ve entered a world of unfathomable gizmos that proves that, like the slightly mouldy courgettes languishing in my nonsmart fridge, I’m well past my sell-by date.

These high-tech fridges make me feel like I’m past my sell-by date