AND FINALLY
Three cheers for all those unsung dads
IT’S Father’s Day tomorrow, so raise a glass to the good guys. This thought is prompted by a rant from a reader about one of my recent columns.
The letter in question was from a married woman whose lover had exploited her. She justified her infidelity by saying her husband ‘was abusive towards me’ — and I said it was important to know exactly what that meant. After all, ‘silly cow’ can count as abuse.
Anyway, the cross reader berated me for suggesting the woman tried to work out her marital problems because of their child. She opined that the husband was obviously controlling and abusive... although that certainly didn’t come across in the original letter. Apparently the husband was the villain, even though the wife had been unfaithful.
I’m tired of the ‘all men are bastards’ script; the utter contempt shown towards the male sex. Female comedians routinely mock men — as if it’s fair comment.
No wonder many men feel they have their backs to the wall. It’s not fair — and on Father’s Day we should celebrate the unsung blokes, their reasonable voices drowned by shrieks of ‘me too’.
The kind guys, the hardworking chaps who take care of their families because they were brought up to do so by their own good dads. Some men are better at childcare than women.
Some remain faithful all their lives, mourn their wives after death — and write me emails full of love and grief. Some stepfathers willingly take on other men’s children and love them as their own.
Recently, a friend of mine saw a young couple walking towards her. The woman was in full nag mode, face screwed in irritation, while he trudged along with four bags of shopping. As they passed my friend, the woman rolled her eyes at her in that way women do, as if we’re all on the same critical page, and said: ‘Husbands!’
My friend replied: ‘Well mine died last November and I miss him terribly — so make the most of yours while he’s around.’
BEL answers readers’ questions on emotional and relationship problems each week. Write to Bel Mooney, Scottish Daily Mail, 20 Waterloo Street, Glasgow G2 6DB, or email bel.mooney@dailymail.co.uk. Names are changed to protect identities. Bel reads all letters but regrets she cannot enter into personal correspondence.