WORLD CUP SEMI-FINAL
All the reaction as classy Croatia book French final
IN terms of their ability to demonstrate even a sliver of objective restraint during an England match, the ITV commentary duo of Clive Tyldesley and Glenn Hoddle show all the caution of a bull running into a china shop.
A sense of patriotism is inevitable in a World Cup semi-final. But when that spills over into a distortion of what is actually unfolding on the pitch, forgive us if we collectively reach for the mute button. Or switch over and check what Kat Slater and the rest of Albert Square are up to.
‘Croatia have no option but to come out now,’ said Hoddle after the concession of a fifth-minute goal.
It was a ludicrous assessment so early in the game. You could have been forgiven for thinking that England were playing Shettleston Juniors, rather than a team with some of the most intelligent players in world football.
Who exactly was editing the broadcast last night and why on earth did they think it relevant to have Joanna Lumley deliver a cringeworthy pre-match message? Would anyone in this England team actually know who Joanna Lumley is?
Simon Cowell was next. But the real X Factor came from Hoddle, Tyldesley and the punditry line-up of Lee Dixon and Ian Wright.
After referee Cuneyt Cakir made a series of poor decisions which went in England’s favour, the bold Tyldesley piped up: ‘Maybe it’s payback for Kim Milton Nielsen’.
It was a reference to Danish referee Nielsen’s decision to — quite rightly — show David Beckham a red card for lashing out at Diego Simeone in France ’98. Hoddle could be heard in the background, sniggering away.
‘This lot are really poor, we need to kill them off,’ was Dixon’s half-time verdict at 1-0 for England, while Wright’s pearls of wisdom were: ‘I’m so excited, we need to just slaughter them in this second half.’
It’s not often that Roy Keane will have been viewed as a voice of reason, but this was surely one of them. His heated exchange with Wright as he criticised the former Arsenal striker for planning victory parades and putting England in the final before a ball had even been kicked was priceless.
If Tyldesley and Hoddle’s commentary oozed a sense of entitlement, the comments from Dixon and Wright just smacked of arrogant, lazy punditry.
Especially when you consider that, in their central midfield pairing of Luka Modric and Ivan Rakitic, Croatia could boast a combined total of five Champions League winners’ medals, with another one up front in the shape of match-winner Mario Mandzukic.
Purely from a footballing point of view, England deserved their success in going so far. But actually listening to what was being said about them?
We should all be glad that the background noise is over.