Arresting sight of a man in a nightie

BACk in the Fifties, I was a detective with the Berkshire Constabulary (now Thames valley Police) in Ascot. I went home for lunch one day, to be greeted by my annoyed wife, Muriel. Pointing to the clothes line in the garden, she said: ‘Someone has stolen my nightdress.’ None of the other washing had been taken, so my answer was that it had probably blown away and not to worry. She replied: ‘If you don’t report it when you get back to the station, I shall.’ After lunch, I returned to work where, soon after, I received a phone call that a man had been seen wandering around the road near the police station in an unsteady state. I went to the front door from where I saw a man on the pavement opposite. I called him across — how he avoided the traffic I will never know. I noticed he was badly dressed, but showing underneath his clothing was something pink. On closer examination, I could see he was wearing my wife’s missing nightdress! I arrested the man and on further inspection we realised he was completely dressed in women’s clothing, which he admitted had been stolen from clothes lines in the area. I rang my wife to tell her I had recovered her stolen nightdress. ‘Don’t wind me up,’ she replied. ‘I have a man here who I caught wearing it,’ I explained. She could not believe it at first, but eventually did so and in her eyes I was a brilliant detective. The local Press went to town when they discovered that the nightdress had heart shapes on the bodice! The man was eventually sent to prison, as he had previous convictions. Not surprisingly, my wife did not want her nightdress returned to her!

roy ryman, ascot, Berks.