The dastardly Mr Deedes

Lloyds boss Antonio Horta-Osorio announces he’s backing fellow Portuguese banking bigwig Jose Maria Ricciardi’s candidacy to be the next president of Sporting Lisbon football club. Rakish Antonio, 54, is a lifelong Sporting fan. His maternal grandfather, Carlos Gois Mota, served as the club’s president during a particularly successful period in the 1950s. Folklore has it that during a match with local rivals Atletico CP in 1956, he entered the referee’s hut at half time armed with a pistol and advised the official to ‘take better care’ in the second half.

After a miserable couple of years, Crispin Odey’s fund is up 26pc this year. He’s due a windfall, too, from his 1pc shareholding in Sky, subject of a £26bn bid from Comcast. Financial blog Betaville says well-lunched Crispin is currently reclining in his bathers in Provence. A disturbing image.

Refined private bankers Weatherby have appointed Scots public relations executive Jacqui Low as an adviser to help lure more customers north of the border. No-nonsense Jacqui, who worked as an adviser to ex-Scottish Secretary Michael Forsyth, recently became the first female chairman of Partick Thistle football club. Perhaps she’ll persuade the club’s most famous fan, poodle-permed actor David Hasselhoff, to open an account.

Convivial-to-a-fault Sports Direct tycoon Mike Ashley should be offered a peerage if he can make House of Fraser work, says the Spectator’s Martin Vander Weyer. ‘Lord Shirebrook has a ring to it,’ he suggests, a reference to Sports Direct’s Derbyshire HQ. Quite so. Or perhaps Baron Ashley of Soho, after the bohemian London district whose alehouses are regular beneficiaries of Ashley’s afternoon patronage.

Inception founder Charlie Gilkes, owner of London’s Mr Fogg’s bars, is advertising for a gin lover to hop around the globe (in 80 days, naturally) in search of new cocktails for his establishments. The successful candidate, who gets to take a companion, will travel to Mumbai, Hong Kong, San Francisco, New York and Lisbon later this year, all expenses paid. Unsurprisingly, Gilkes has already received a flurry of applications. Even Hollywood actor Ryan Reynolds (Deadpool) has offered his services.