Is it just ME?

Or are you suffering from TV tyranny, too?

ONLY Biscuit Week — and already I have fallen behind. I’ve missed Manon’s Wagon Wheels, Karen’s cardamom ‘selfie’ and Imelda’s seaside shortbread.

Thanks to Twitter, I know who baked what and — spoiler alert — who left the tent by the back flap.

But I haven’t watched this year’s inaugural Great British Bake Off.

I’m behind on BBC drama Bodyguard, too: on Keeley Hawes’s power bob and her protector’s powerful pecs.

I haven’t seen so much as a trailer for Big Little Lies, 13 Reasons Why or Orange Is The New Black. But I know that Everyone Is Talking About Them.

Or was talking about them. They’re probably talking about something else now. Glow, Insatiable, Maniac . . . I met a woman at a wedding last week who introduced her toddler daughter as Cersei. ‘That’s a pretty name,’ I said.

‘Yes,’ said the mother. ‘From Game Of Thrones.’

I look up Cersei on Wikipedia: scheming, cruel and incestuous.

What about a nice name like Liz? She comes out of The Crown very well.

Keeping Up With The Kardashians? I can’t keep up with Inspector Morse!

We live, say the pundits, in a golden age of television. Now, the stars are all on the small screen. Hollywood clutches its Oscars and looks jealously at House Of Cards.

But what to do with this embarrassment of box set riches?

Take out subscriptions to Netflix, Amazon Prime and Sky Atlantic?

Alternate hedonistic Patrick Melrose with squarejawed Jack Ryan, Vanity Fair with Love Island, Poldark with Hannibal?

Oh, heavens, it’s Cake Week tomorrow!

Forget soggy bottoms. I’m a soggy sofa soufflé, collapsing in the red-hot heat of must-watch telly.

Keeping Up With The Kardashians? I can’t keep up with Inspector Morse!