Hardcastle

THE temporary replacement of Kirsty Young by Lauren Laverne, 40, on Desert Island Discs may, for the time being, have scuppered Kirsty’s burning ambition to lure a younger Royal castaway to the BBC show. Conscious that DID had persuaded Princess Margaret, Princess Michael and Princess Grace of Monaco to select eight discs, Kirsty, 49, was keen to entice William, Harry, Kate or Meghan with the promise of promoting a favourite charity. Helpfully married to Nick Jones, founder of Harry and Meghan’s favoured watering hole Soho House, Kirsty stood a better chance of success than Labour-supporting Laverne. She once, sweetly, labelled the Spice Girls ‘scum’ for supporting the Tories. PRINCE Charles, at the Royal Albert hall today in support of his charity Children and the Arts, is keen for his sons to broaden their charity portfolios from youth and mental health into the arts. William’s Bafta presidency is his only arts involvement while Kate, harry and Meghan have none. Trouble is the Queen and Prince Philip are divesting themselves of almost 1,500 patronages to be divided among the family leaving little room for the youngsters to become ‘arty’ Royals. THERESA May’s reluctance to use the honours system to knight her heroes has probably put paid to the chances of Alastair Cook becoming the first cricketer to be gonged for services to the sport since the late Alec Bedser in 1997. John Major, who honoured Bedser, made his childhood hero Colin Cowdrey a knight in 1992 and sent him to the Lords in 1997. Despite having a poster of Geoffrey Boycott over her bed as a youngster, Mrs May has refused to enhance his OBE with a K. The irascible Yorkshireman thought the OBE so worthless he gave it to his cat. FORMER Glamour model Linda Lusardi, pictured, who turns 60 this month, tells Woman magazine she was once asked for an autograph while sitting on a toilet, explaining: ‘A piece of paper was pushed underneath the door and someone said, “Can you sign that for me? I’m sorry to bother you while you’re on the loo, but my train’s coming”.’ SNOOTY Guardian commentator Zoe Williams writes of former BBC star Eddie Mair’s much-hyped LBC debut this week: ‘It was like seeing your dog playing on a motorway.’ Mair, 52, bluntly responds: ‘Woof’. VOTED off Labour’s ruling NEC body this week, cross-dressing comedian eddie Izzard, 56, never embraced by the Corbynistas, vows to fight on. ‘I’m for an open, positive, pluralistic broad church Labour Party’, he defiantly announces. ‘We have to learn to work together and stop tearing each other apart.’ Precisely why poor eddie isn’t welcome among Corbyn’s cronies! INVETERATE traveller Griff Rhys Jones, 64, about to perform his one-man show ‘Where Was I’ in Australia, was asked if he’d like to see the Northern Lights. He replied: ‘Well, I did take my wife to Manchester Airport – that’s what I call the northern lights.’