Mollycoddled children ‘not taught to cope with losing’
CHILDREN are self-harming and feeling suicidal because they are ‘coddled’ at school and grow up afraid of failure, a leading cleric has claimed.
The Right Reverend Susan Brown, Moderator of the General Assembly of the Church of Scotland, warns pupils are being let down by an education system that fails to prepare them for life’s disappointments.
She believes there is a link between so-called ‘failure deprivation’ and statistics exposing the fragile mental state of the nation’s youth.
Her intervention follows figures this year that suggest as many as one in nine young adults in Scotland has attempted suicide. The same large-scale, Glasgow University study of 18 to 34-year-olds found one in six had self-harmed.
Last night, there was concern from some experts that telling young people they are unable to cope with emotional problems could be counterproductive.
James Jopling, executive director of the Samaritans in Scotland, said: ‘Learning the emotional skills to deal with life’s challenges is a key way to prevent suicide.
‘However, in order to best support our young people and reduce the number of them taking their own lives, we need to focus on encouraging them to seek help rather than suggest that struggling means that you’re just not tough enough.’
The Right Rev Brown, a minister in Dornoch, Sutherland, said she was still ‘scarred’ from being told as a girl that there was ‘no way’ she would go to university.
But she believes the tendency to tell adolescents anything is possible is ‘every bit as harmful’.
She said: ‘We are seeing the effect of the overly positive coddling of our young people in the sharp rise of anxiety, depression, self-harming and suicidal thoughts among them.
‘In the US, they call it failure deprivation and have concluded that it is only in learning to cope with disappointments and failures that young people gain the resilience they need to get the most out of life and themselves.’ She also argues that more recognition should be given to ‘those who have tried and failed, and then tried again’.
She added: ‘These are the people who will find they have the skills they need to be all they can be – which is happier and healthier and more rounded human beings.’
The Scottish Government said: ‘Providing a positive future for our young people is our top priority and mental health is a key part of that.
‘Curriculum for Excellence is helping young people gain the knowledge, skills and attributes needed for learning, life and work, including learning that builds resilience and confidence.’