Ephraim Hardcastle

WILL the bullying scandal jeopardise Speaker John Bercow’s normally formal retirement elevation to the Lords? When predecessor Michael Martin retired in 2009, a Lords vetting panel complained that nominees had to ‘enhance rather than diminish’ the standing of the house, which some Labour MPs interpreted as a slur against Martin. He was still elevated. Apart from the bullying allegations, Bercow has made himself, unwisely, too high profile – the first celebrity speaker. Those who vet honours nominees don’t like that. APROPOS the Squeaker: his chums have booked ‘Bercow’s Leaving Drinks’ bash for Saturday, June 22, at the Red Lion, Westminster, commencing at 5pm. ‘Hopefully the date will have to be brought forward,’ says my source. WILL large-eared Alexander Armstrong – co-hosting ITV’s 70th birthday tribute to Prince Charles – avoid ear jokes when he meets the heir at the London Palladium on Monday? Armstrong makes a virtue of his jumbo lugs, but Charles is sensitive on the subject. After Nicholas Smith, who played the similarly well-endowed Mr Rumbold in Are You Being Served? was introduced to Charles at a reception, he said: ‘We didn’t mention the elephant ears in the room.’ HATS off to Labour MP Chuka Umunna, who has become Chair of the Advisory Board of Progressive Centre UK. He will be paid £65,040 – on top of his MP’s salary. Umunna estimates it will take him 12 hours a month – or £451 an hour. ‘At the heart of our mission is the pursuit of inclusive prosperity, opportunity for all, social justice,’ says the Centre. It’s certainly helping Umunna’s pursuit of prosperity. FRUITY broadcaster Julia Hartley-Brewer, 50, cuttingly responds to the announcement by preachy actress Keira Knightley, pictured, that she doesn’t allow her daughter to watch some Disney children’s films due to the lack of strong female characters. Taking aim at some of Knightley’s own rather wooden performances over the years, the talkRadio host announces: ‘I won’t let my daughter watch Keira Knightley films for the same reason.’ DAME Eileen Atkins has been accused of inverted snobbery after refusing to give a talk at Eton, opting instead for a comprehensive school, saying: ‘Why should I put myself out for those boys?’ Writes Patrick Delaney in The Stage: ‘Perhaps the Eton boys had a lucky escape.’ MIMIC Rob Brydon recalls meeting Mick Jagger at a party when The Rolling Stone attempted a Michael Caine accent, saying: ‘His impression did leave me wondering what he was doing. I thought maybe he was having a funny turn.’ POLYMATH Gyles Brandreth says his massive collection of colourful jumpers from his 70s TV career now have a retro appeal, adding: ‘The Victoria and Albert Museum have been in touch about having one for their costume collection.’ Might the V&A’s dandy director, former Labour MP Tristram Hunt, model Brandreth’s geeky ganzy?