Big bad wolf brings home the bacon . . .

Here’s a story of three little pigs (But a warning — it’s not very nice). Each wanted to build their very own house But by paying a different price. Now, Little Pig was a bit of a Scrooge, And you wouldn’t call him poor, But he kept his pennies safer than houses; So his house was made out of straw. Big Pig warned him of safety, To upgrade to at least terracotta But he didn’t want ‘safe’, he wanted ‘cheap’ To not cost him an arm and a trotter! Middle Pig took all this on board And built a house of sticks, But Big Pig still put his snout in, saying: ‘You need mortar and ready mix.’ Middle Pig spent all his money on food And he was getting too fat, But he loved to make a pig of himself — So, sadly, that was that! Little Pig and Middle Pig Told Big Pig that was enough, And told him in no uncertain terms To get his snout out of their trough! Big Pig told them to keep themselves safe — You never know who’s at the door, So a house should be impervious, Solid and secure! The house he built was a good, strong house, The best house of all three, He was sorry he couldn’t change his siblings’ minds, But some things aren’t meant to be. With the houses built to their own design From roof to windows and doors They settled in for winter ... But someone was rubbing his paws. As it just so happened that in their town — The town of Piggy beware, There prowled a cunning, hungry wolf Who loved pork, fresh and rare! He started first at the house of straw But his plan had gone awry As, just about to knock at Little Pig’s door, A straw spike poked his eye! He stumbled to the next house, The one made out of sticks, But a stick gave him a splinter And now he was in a fix! With a sore eye and blooddrenched paw He approached house number three, The house that was made from solid bricks And he knocked ferociously! ‘OK, OK, I’m coming,’ Called Big Pig from inside And, opening the door, saw the wolf, With his sore paw and sore eye. The poor old wolf looked hungry, So Big Pig gave him a bun, Then — turning to make him a nice cup of tea — The wolf downed him in one! Sheila Webb, Chesham, Bucks.