Yoicks! Don’t fiddle-faddle with that blatherskite, you juggins!

... just some of the zany English words in danger of extinction unless YOU come to the rescue

My father was born in 1910. he rarely called underpants ‘underpants’. he called them ‘indescribables’ or ‘unmentionables’, and into them he put his ‘benders’, ‘underpinners’ or — wait for it — ‘crural appendages’, better known as legs.

I have a very Victorian way with words simply because I still use the vocabulary my father used. and, sad to say, it seems it’s going out of style.

edward allhusen, a publisher from Devon, has this month produced a list of 600 glorious english words that were once on everybody’s lips and now are on almost nobody’s.

to me it’s heartbreaking because many of the words on the endangered list are among my favourites. they are part of why the english language is the richest language in the world.

the french have about 100,000 words in their vocab — and that includes

le weekend, le snaque-barre and le Brexit. We have more than 500,000 in ours, even if (let’s be fair) quite a few were french in origin.

that’s why english is so rich. It isn’t pure. It’s a mongrel tongue. the american poet ralph Waldo emerson called it: ‘the sea which receives tributaries from every region under heaven.’ It has taken almost 2,000 years to evolve.

Of course, new words are coming along all the time. World War I spawned umpteen of them — including binge, camouflage, cushy, scrounge, zoom and the word ‘umpteen’ itself. World War II gave us blackout, blitz, boffin, bulldozer, Jeep and ‘wishful thinking’.

In the past few years, we have seen the arrival of the verb ‘to google’ and the transformation of a ‘tweet’ from the sweet sound a bird makes to the U.S. President’s means of communication.

More people in the world speak english as a second language than as a first. Let’s relish its diversity and its heritage. Let’s not lose some of our most interesting and useful words simply because they’re outdated.

So here they are: my unfashionable favourites — an a to Z of splendid english words that allhusen warns are on the brink of disappearing. Please help me haul them back from oblivion by picking them up, dusting them off and using them in your conversation, texts and tweets. Zounds! We can have some sesquipedalian fun here . . .

ANTEDILUVIAN — dating from a time ‘before the flood’ in the time of Noah. My wife tells me that both my dress sense and my jokes are antediluvian.

BINDLESTIFF — an old american word for a tramp; while a BLATHERSKITE is an old english word for someone who talks too much. and a BOBORYGMOUS is a gurgling sound that emanates from your intestines.

CURMUDGEON — a bad-tempered or surly person. Some people say the word derives from coeur méchant, the french for ‘evil heart’, but nobody really knows. No one knows, either, the origin of my other favourite C-word: conk, meaning a huge hooter or a large nose.

DEIPNOSOPHIST — comes from the Greek for a meal, deipnno, and wise men,

sophist, and means someone who has mastered the art of dinner table conversation. While DIPSOMANIA is an early 19th-century term for alcoholism. the word, based on the Greek word

dipso, meaning thirst, was coined by a German doctor to describe an irresistible craving for alcohol.

EMOLUMENT — a fee or salary, a reward for services rendered. It comes from the Latin word

molere, meaning to grind and once related to the money paid to the miller for grinding the wheat to make bread. We still talk about ‘the daily grind’.

FIDDLE-FADDLE — to waste time doing trivial and unimportant things. My father also used ‘fiddle-faddle!’ as an exclamation meaning balderdash, baloney, bilge, bunkum, claptrap, codswallop, fiddlesticks, flapdoodle, hogwash, hooey, poppycock, tommyrot and twaddle. you get the idea.

GALLIMAUFRY — a jumble, a hotchpotch, a mishmash. It originates from the 16th-century french word for a stew, galimafrée, made from assorted cuts of meat.

HUGGER-MUGGER — secretively or conspiratorially. the word has been around since Shakespeare’s day and probably derives from ‘huddle’ and ‘mucker’ (meaning to conceal).

IGNORAMUS — a stupid person. It is derived from the Latin for ‘We do not know’. at the end of the fifties I went to an old-fashioned prep school, where the masters all wore gowns and threw chalk at the boys who fell asleep in class.

When I translated ‘in loco parentis’ as ‘my dad’s an engine driver’, the Latin master called me an ignoramus and rapped me over the knuckles with a ruler.

JUGGINS — a simple-minded, gullible person, a bit like a muggins. ‘you silly juggins!’ (Isn’t it a great word?) and I love the sound of a JEREPIGO. It’s a sweet fortified wine. a JUJUBE is a fruitflavoured sweet, used to soothe a cough, while a JUBE is a gallery in a church.

KICKSHAW — little bits of what you fancy, which do you good. they can be toys or trinkets, fancy dishes or little delicacies. a favourite word of Shakespeare’s.

LICKSPITTLE — a toadying, grovelling individual, sometimes a servant, but more often someone who is trying obsequiously to find favour. I love it as a word because it does exactly what it says on the tin.

MICTURATE — another word for ‘urinate’. It’s not a euphemism — like ‘powdering your nose’ or ‘spending a penny’ (a phrase that dates back to the 1840s when public lavatories for women were introduced and to enter you had to put a penny in the slot). Micturate comes from the the Latin

mingere, meaning to have a pee.

NINCOMPOOP — a simpleton, the word, which has been around since the 17th century, may derive from Nicodemus who, in the New testament, is noted for the simpleminded questions he asked Jesus. I love a word that sounds right and this one sounds perfect.

OENOLOGY — the science of viniculture and the knowledge and study of wines. too much of a good thing and you can end up ossified, which literally means ‘turned into bone’, but in my dad’s day meant getting pie-eyed, stinko, squiffy, tanked, tiddly or just plain woozled.

PETTIFOGGING — a wonderful old word meaning ‘putting undue emphasis on unimportant details’ and dates back at least 500 years to a time when lawyers who spent time engaged in trivial litigation were known as ‘pettifoggers’.

QUIDNUNC — a gossip and a busybody. Once the word was used on a QUOTIDIAN basis — that means ‘daily’. Now both words have almost totally disappeared.

RAPSCALLION — a scamp, a rascal and a rogue, while a RUMPUS is a row or a noisy disturbance. SESQUIPEDALIAN — Long winded, from the Latin for ‘a foot-and-ahalf long’. SHILLY-SHALLY is a muddled-up version of ‘Shall I’ and means to be indecisive.

TROLLOP — a promiscuous woman. It is a 17th-century word possibly deriving from ‘trull’, German for prostitute. Don’t confuse it with a TERMAGANT, a bad-tempered and overbearing woman. Perhaps it’s a good thing that some of these words are falling out of favour. (Or perhaps not. to TERGIVERSATE is to keep changing one’s mind.)

UXORIOUS — doting on one’s wife. I’m certainly uxorious. (even when she ULULATES — which means baying like a Banshee or screeching like an owl, which happens if she’s severely provoked.)

VAMOOSE — comes from the Spanish vamos and means to depart swiftly, which I’m about to do after that last entry.

WELKIN — the sky or heaven and it is a word that has been in our language for around 1,000 years. Don’t let it slip away now.

XENODOCIAL — ‘hospitable to strangers’, which is what the english language has always been, and long may it continue.

YOICKS! a happy hunting cry, like tally-ho! Yex is an old english word for a burp or a hiccup — and very useful in Scrabble.

ZANY — a bit eccentric. I like the sound of ZOUNDS! It’s an old exclamation of indignation or surprise. Just as people still say ‘Crikey’ or ‘Cripes’ instead of ‘Christ’, people used to say ‘Zounds’ or ‘Gadzook’ instead of ‘God’s wounds’ or ‘God’s hooks’.

Don’t waste your time with that chatterbox, you fool