Sorry darling, I detest the scruffy way you DRESS
Monica feels more stylish than ever at 65 – but her daughter only wants to wear charity shop overalls. In an outburst that will chime with many mothers, she says...
My daughter Lucy is a brilliant, creative woman. taking after her artist father, she certainly has flair.
But, when it comes to her appearance, the end result looks like wild gypsy-meets-Worzel gummidge.
every fortnight or so, she’ll emerge from a charity shop, laden down with armfuls of clothes she’s bought for a tenner. they typically include such ‘gems’ as a men’s jumper, complete with holes, a ghastly Crimplene blouse and a tatty skirt that barely covers her bottom. ugh.
you might say that doesn’t sound so unusual for a teenage girl experimenting with her look.
But Lucy is nearly 40, a brilliant and responsible mother to her 15-year-old daughter, grace, and — I’m so sorry to say it, darling — should know better.
Once, it was daughters who found their mothers’ clothes embarrassing, cringing at a twinset or blushing at a ‘mutton-dressed-as-lamb’ outfit and muttering: ‘you’re not going out in
that, Mum?’ But now the tables have turned. research has found women over 50 are not only increasingly stylish, but are spending more than ever on clothes, while the amount spent on fashion by those under 50 is falling.
that certainly reflects my sartorially divided family. I just can’t understand why Lucy doesn’t seem to care about how she looks.
Now 65, I feel my own fashion confidence growing: I have enough life experience to know what suits me.
Four years ago, I suffered a stroke. It’s a shame that’s what it took to teach me the importance of healthy eating, but I have since lost a stone and shrunk from a size 16 to a 10, and clothes hang better on me now.
I’m a former teacher and, when I was Lucy’s age, I was a head of faculty, a job for which I wore smart skirts, blouses and jackets.
Off-duty, I still made an effort. yes, I wore jeans and t-shirts, but they wouldn’t have had great big holes in them and I’d never have my pants showing over the top.
I remember mother dressing like an old lady at 60, but there’s no need for women my age to look frumpy. I like skinny black trousers, leather skirts, stilettos and silk tops from highend high Street shops such as Whistles, the White Company and French Connection.
The look I like is smart casual with a twist and I’ll spend hundreds of pounds on a shopping trip if I really want something and know it suits me.
the most I’ve ever spent on a single clothing item was £500 on a black leather designer dress. I wouldn’t dream of going to h&M or Primark.
My husband, david, 68, understands I dress to please myself as much as him, but he likes my clothes and the effect they have on my confidence. he also enjoys shopping for his own fashionable outfits.
Lucy, unfortunately, does not take after either of us in that respect. It’s true she’s never been short of male attention and her boyfriend, a graphic designer, is always in jeans and t-shirts and loves her madcap clothes.
I just wish she’d dress a bit more elegantly and show a bit more pride in herself.
I appreciate finances are tight, but she refuses my offers of help.
When I spent £140 on new cowboy boots to replace her battered pair, she turned up her nose: they were, apparently, the wrong brand!
I also take good care of what I buy, fastidiously ironing, folding and hanging clothes in order to preserve them. Lucy dumps hers unceremoniously on the floor.
until recently, if she did it at my house — we all live in Leamington Spa in Warwickshire — I would surreptitiously whisk them away into the ironing basket, unable to bear staring at them lying on the carpet. I’ve stopped doing that now — I realised I was imposing my regime on her, which wasn’t fair — but it still grates.
For work, she wears paintspattered overalls — she’s an interior designer and decorator — but, instead of changing when she’s finished, she keeps them on to meet friends afterwards.
I’d love to see her in a kneelength skirt with a co-ordinated top: she would look stunning. Of course, Lucy isn’t the only woman her age eschewing glamour for an ‘artfully’ deconstructed look. the younger generation seem to believe dressing up destroys their credibility.
I was brought up to think showing up looking scruffy was an insult. Wearing your Sunday best was taken seriously.
Lucy is so beautiful and I think she’s doing herself a great disservice. She’s always hated looking smart — when she was a teen, I bought her a pair of smart, fitted jeans to replace her baggy ones and she threw them across the room in disgust. I somehow knew it wasn’t a phase and tried to resign myself to it.
grace, her daughter, also dresses for comfort — in ‘athleisure’ hoodies and leggings — but she at least buys her clothes from high Street stores rather than charity shops.
With every passing year, Lucy seems less interested in looking smart. We’re both feminists, but I believe women can be strong and stylish, whereas she sees equality as looking like one of the lads.