Let battle commence!
ENGLAND AND AUSTRALIA PREPARE FOR AN ASHES SPECTACULAR:
SO, how to top the World Cup then? Well, an Ashes that could become a collection of three-day shoot-outs, with two superlative attacks holding sway over two brittle batting line-ups, would not lack entertainment value. Hold on to your hats, this could be eventful.
Frankly, anything could happen when the old enemies lock horns today at Edgbaston in one of the more difficult Ashes series to predict, with neither England nor Australia able to guarantee that fifth or even fourth-day ticket holders will get their money’s worth.
Certainly, there was little in England’s ultimately victorious Test against Ireland to suggest they will be able to put their white-ball dominance to one side and find the application necessary to continue their home dominance over Australia.
‘It will play a massive hand,’ admitted England captain Joe Root of the likely bowler dominance. ‘It’s not your traditional Test series in that respect. It’s not like sides have been banging out scores of 500 around the world. We understand that, especially in England, it can be very difficult at the top of the order. Then it’s how you react to that.
‘Are we skilful and smart enough to make big scores? You have to play to your strengths, too. We have exploited bowler-friendly conditions and have found ways of winning matches. We have a good record here and it’s set up nicely to be a juicy contest.’
Yet, if Root needs reassurance at the start of what, in the aftermath of a demanding World Cup, will be a gruelling five-Test series in six weeks, then it comes from an Australia side who should not exactly make England quake in their boots.
This far-from-vintage Aussie team are not short of comedy value this year.
First, they whipped off their socks for a bit of earthing on the Edgbaston outfield before they were thrashed by England in the World Cup semi-final.
Then Australia captain Tim Paine yesterday wound up the patriotic crowd here by scoffing at their fervent support.
‘If we execute our skills, it doesn’t matter if we’re playing at Edgbaston, the Gabba or the moon,’ he said. ‘We think our best cricket is good enough and the Edgbaston pitch and crowd and grandstand, or whatever it is, won’t play a part in deciding this Test match.’
Unimpressed by the suggestion there was no more intimidating venue in the world, with England having lost only one Test here since 2001, he replied: ‘Than this? I could name you 15.’
Paine then attempted to summon up the spirit of one of the great British leaders in Winston Churchill.
Trouble is, the quote ‘behaviour never lies’ that was recommended as a motto for the new squeaky clean Australia by, of all people, their combustible former keeper Brad Haddin has been more commonly used by eccentric TV presenter David Icke.
Thank goodness Root didn’t start quoting Crocodile Dundee or Dame Edna Everage in retaliation.
Almost as funny is any attempt at Australian indignation about the reception the cheating trio of Steve Smith, David Warner and Cameron Bancroft will receive today in their first Test since the Sandpaper-gate crisis that engulfed the whole country, let alone cricket.
‘They are human beings, they’ve got feelings, they’re no different to anybody else,’ said Paine.
Fine, but imagine what would happen if three convicted English ball-tamperers were walking out at the Gabba today? The Brisbane crowd were hostile enough to Stuart Broad when all he did was fail to walk, in true Australian fashion.
The fact is, Australia conducted a white-wash into the whole sorry affair which seemed to overlook the personal abuse suffered by Moeen Ali and Jonny Bairstow in recent Ashes series.
And they still would have us believe no one other than the disgraced trio knew anything about the ball-tampering. Pull the other one. The ‘Sandpaper Three’ deserve all they will verbally get today.
More seriously, Paine was prickly when questioned about his place because clearly he does not merit one and that has an impact on the balance of his team and has
ultimately led them to leave out their best bowler Mitchell Starc.
Alex Carey, a better keeperbatsman, was omitted from the squad because of the presence of the man who admittedly had to take over the captaincy in the most difficult of circumstances after Cape Town. And today’s Aussie side will include another keeper — Matthew Wade — as a specialist batsman.
It is up to England to take advantage of the Test captain least deserving of his place on pure ability since Mike Brearley.
England have taken the sensible option in leaving out Jofra Archer after what Root described as a ‘very serious’ side injury. He will work on his red-ball form and fitness in the nets with a view to making his Test debut in the second match at Lord’s.
That leaves Broad, preferred to Sam Curran for the final place, and Chris Woakes looking over their shoulders today when they join a fit-again Jimmy Anderson in a seam attack lacking the extra pace Archer and Mark Wood brought to the World Cup.
That additional speed might instead be provided by Ben Stokes, now close to his all-round best and back in the vice-captain’s role.
Yet it is still the England batting that looks vulnerable. Root, at last, moves up to three but Jason Roy stays as opener when he might have been better suited to the No 4 role that goes to Joe Denly. The pressure is still very much on that flaky top order.
‘It was completely my decision,’ insisted Root of his move back to where coach Trevor Bayliss has long wanted him to bat. ‘It’s a good chance to cement this spot and make it my own.’
At least Root is worth his place wherever he bats, unlike Paine who showed his sensitivity yesterday by reportedly banning British ‘tabloids’ from his dressing room.
As he’s unlikely to be reading this, then, we can say his side really should not become the first Australia team to win the Ashes on English soil since 2001.