A BRUTE WHO’S LOST MY RESPECT
By JAN MOIR
What next for Paul hollywood? In the grand patisserie of celebrity, he is the cake who ate himself; the Great British Brute Off whose reputation has fallen flatter than a curd-filled crepe de creep.
In short order, the silly old fool had an affair with an american television star, then begged his wife for forgiveness before running off with a local barmaid almost 30 years his junior. Who then, oh sweet little butter buns of revenge, dumped him.
hollywood showed exactly what he is made of — and it sure ain’t sugar, spice and a tablespoon of nice — when he reportedly told 24-year-old Summer Monteys-Fullam to ride back out on the horse she rode in on following the end of their relationship last week.
that was shortly before he demanded the return of all the gifts he had given her, including a hot tub and a car. Say what you like, but I don’t think I will ever be able to watch him deconstruct a treacle tart or nibble on an overbaked biscuit at the gingham altar again. Certainly not without thinking, oof, you utter childish, heartless beast.
Quite how the increasingly sordid hollywood can align his rackety personal life with the cinnamon-scented goodness of the Great British Bake Off remains to be seen. the new series will be broadcast soon on Channel 4, where his tough but fair on-screen persona will contrast harshly with what we know about the selfish belligerence he has shown towards his young lover.
It is one thing to appear as an avuncular judge on the quintessential British show, with its jaunty bunting, perfect Victoria sponges, weekly tears and triumphs.
But it is something else to be revealed as a man with no respect for the women who love or have loved him, be they his latest girlfriend or the mother of his only child.
his romantic history speaks for itself. In 2013, he initially denied rumours of a relationship with u.S. tV chef Marcela Valladolid (‘salacious lies’), but rushed home to tell devastated alexandra the awful truth.
at their home in Kent, he ended 15 years of marriage in less than 15 minutes. In the one interview he gave, he said his
only regret was the hurt caused to his son. Not a word about his wife alex, in tribute or remorse. he is the brute’s brute.
how she must have regretted taking him back when, in 2017, he galloped over the horizon with Summer. and now this.
the flashpoint came when sensitive dough basher hollywood reportedly asked both alex and Summer to sign gagging orders forbidding them to talk about him. Not just to the media, but to friends and family, too. his lawyer insisted this was ‘standard practice’ but is that really the case? I don’t think so.
Such Non-Disclosure agreements (NDas) are commonplace in the higher reaches of paranoid international stardom, but usually only between celebrities and their staff or hired help.
It is rather insulting for loved ones to be asked to prove their loyalty by signing on the dotted line as if they were scullery maids. You have to ask yourself what terrible secrets has Paul hollywood got to hide? that he uses shop-bought pastry? Wears a steel truss?
trust demanded is trust breached, once and for evermore. how could any relationship flourish on an equal footing after such a request?
have we reached the soggy bottom of hollywood’s demise yet? Not quite. It just seems like five minutes ago when the 53-yearold baking judge was something of a housewives’ favourite and a teatime sex symbol; a fondant fancy for the cosy cuppa brigade; a man we adored for his acuity on crumb structure and sourdough starters and the correct way to ice a Bakewell tart.
Yet his reputation has fallen faster than an anvil soufflé being lobbed off a cliff.
Some might dismiss Summer Monteys-Fullam as a gold digger who planned this all along, but I think not. She strikes me as a young woman who was more sinned against than sinning, a Pollyanna who became a plaything for the local big shot.
She got out when the going was good, following legal demands which suggest Mr hollywood has much to hide and more to be ashamed of. No doubt we shall find out soon if this is indeed the case. For this Summer of fun has just begun.