Don’t let it go to a new Mrs So-And-So

DOM SAYS:

What a sorry tale of disappointments that you’ve had to endure in your latter days. Good for you that you have found a way past the hurt to try to rebuild your life.

Before I give you my two penneth, it’s important that I remind you I’m neither a lawyer nor a financial adviser, and I feel strongly that you must seek professional advice before you proceed. I am, however, happy to tell you what I think.

My overwhelming response to your letter is: what has happened to his house? You got divorced, sold the family home and bought separate houses into which he moved his new girlfriend. Now, the two of you are reconciled and he has moved into your house. So, where has his gone?

If he has lost it, if the other woman has ended up with the proceeds, then that colours things. You say that you are worried that a new woman could, in the future, end up with your family’s inheritance, and I think you are quite right to be! If your partner’s ex-girlfriend has benefited financially from that relationship, above and beyond the holidays and meals, then this has already happened.

Of course, it’s uncomfortable to think about what might happen in the future, so you are being very sensible to face this.

If you name your partner as the main beneficiary in your will, above your children and grandchildren, then he will have every right to do what he likes with what will become his money.

there are many men who simply cannot be alone. they crave companionship, and someone to cook and clean for them, and it’s common for men like this to remarry after the death of a spouse. and there are others still who simply fall in love again. My own father married his third wife at 70.

If you want to make sure that a future new Mrs So-and-So doesn’t end up with what you’d rather see in the hands of your children, then my advice is not to leave your money to your bloke!

You could always ask a lawyer to draw something up allowing him to live in the house until he dies, at which point the house could pass to your children.

It seems to me that what you’re really asking is, ‘Will he do it again?’ — but no one can know the answer to this. Be sensible and protect your children.