THE LOVE THAT DEFIED DEMENTIA
Poignant wedding after sufferer asks wife to marry him, believing her to be new love and having fallen for her all over again
WHEN Bill Duncan was diagnosed with dementia, his wife Anne endured the heartbreak of watching him slowly forget their life together.
But even after he lost all his precious memories of their happy marriage, the one thing the disease could not take from him was his love for her.
And on Saturday, the pair tied the knot a second time – after he popped the question to the beloved new ‘girlfriend’ he had fallen for all over again.
Mrs Duncan, 69, said: ‘We renewed our vows surrounded by a small group of friends and family, and added some bits in for Bill so it felt like he really was getting married.
‘It was the most beautiful day and being with our friends in the garden we share together made it all the more perfect.’
Mr Duncan, 71, and his wife have been a couple for 18 years and married for 12. For the past nine years, devoted Mrs Duncan has been a full-time carer for her spouse and could only look on as he started to forget their happy times together. He also now struggles to talk.
Yet his love for his wife was stronger than his condition, and he popped the question a second time last week.
They wed just three days later, in an emotional ceremony in the garden of their home in Aberdeen.
Mrs Duncan said: ‘We’d been to a family member’s wedding earlier in the month and clearly it touched Bill, as he turned to me not long after and said that he wanted to be with me for ever. He asked me when would we be walking up the aisle together – I thought he would just forget he’d asked me, but the next day he said it again.
‘I had some friends coming over on the weekend and thought that would be the perfect time to have our second wedding, if Bill still wanted to by then.
‘Every day he asked me about our wedding. Finally, on August 17, I walked down the aisle with my wonderful husband, 12 years after our first wedding.
‘Our friends pitched in to help with decorating the garden and providing a wedding cake, and my daughter Andrea convinced me to get a dress for the day, too.’
The couple met in 2001, while Mr Duncan was working as an entertainer and magician in Aberdeen, and wed in 2007.
Three years later, Mrs Duncan noticed her husband was acting differently and was forgetful. A doctor then diagnosed dementia.
Their lives changed dramatically, but Mrs Duncan was determined to ensure each day is full of joy.
Both still love to dance and helped to set up a monthly Boogie in the Bar event – a disco for dementia sufferers and their partners and families. Mrs Duncan said: ‘It can be difficult adjusting to life with dementia for both the sufferer and their partner, and we’re always looking for ways to still enjoy ourselves.
‘We attended a friend’s party last year and as Bill and I took to the dancefloor, it was like all of our troubles melted away.
‘Dancing together helped us forget dementia for that moment, and it was like my old husband was back in my arms – it was beautiful. We knew it could help other people in similar situations and give them a chance to escape their worries, so we set up a dementia-friendly disco and it’s been a real success.’
Since the renewal of their vows, Mr Duncan has been on cloud nine – as has his new ‘bride’.
Mrs Duncan said: ‘Bill has been so affectionate ever since I accepted his proposal, lavishing me in kisses and cuddles.
‘Since his diagnosis, his displays of affection have become scarce, so to have all of this love radiating from him towards me has been truly wonderful.
‘Our ceremony in the garden was very emotional and I’m just so happy that he still loves me this much after all these years of battling dementia.
‘Bill is a wonderful man and has always brought joy to other people’s lives throughout his career as an entertainer, and he’ll never stop bringing joy to mine.’
Mrs Duncan has three children from a past relationship – Colin, 39, Andrea, 36, and Mike, 28.
All live locally and while her eldest son could not attend due to a work commitment, her other children and year-old grandson, Ollie, watched her go down the aisle.
Mr Duncan’s children – Mandy, 43, and Tony, 45 – live in Norfolk so could not attend at short notice.