Extraordinary
MY PARENTS were born on the same day, but almost 1,000 miles apart: Dad, Maxie McIlwaine, in Northern Ireland, and Mum, Henrica ‘Ric’ Maria de Vries, in Utrecht in Holland. A chance meeting at a dance resulted in a lifetime together. They were 21 when they met in November 1944. Mum and her friends had gone to a dance at a local school in Eindhoven and my Dad was there with RAF comrades stationed nearby. Mum had been working since she was 14. She had to walk to her job at Philips, the Dutch electrical company, under the glare of the German soldiers who had taken over the city. It was a frightening time that saw her father, a printer, arrested after he made a misprint in newspaper type. Mum saw a neighbouring Jewish family being taken away by soldiers, never to be seen again. Dad’s unit stayed in Eindhoven until April 1945 before being transferred to Germany. Even then, he and his friends ‘borrowed’ RAF lorries and sneaked back to Eindhoven to see their girlfriends. Mum and Dad got engaged in September 1945, but they were
soon parted when his unit was posted to India until his demob in 1946. Arrangements were made for Dad to meet Mum at Croydon Airport before travelling by boat to Northern Ireland. Mum had lived in a city, so the countryside was a shock. Dad was the only child of elderly, God-fearing parents and she was one of five children, which also took a bit of adjustment. When they married in October 1946, Mum didn’t speak much English and had to learn quickly. They moved to Bangor, County Down, and had five children, of whom I am the eldest. Later came 11 grandchildren and 11 greatgrandchildren. My parents enjoyed ballroom dancing and travelling to Europe with their caravan. Before joining the RAF, Dad had been a trainee accountant, but an office job was not for him. After demob, he was a bus driver and owned a petrol station and garage. Mum was a homemaker who was talented at handicrafts, especially dressmaking, knitting, crochet and cross stitch. When her sight faded and Dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, she could no longer look after him at home. She visited him every day at the care home for the two years before he died. Eighteen months later, Mum suffered a stroke, which left her confined to bed for six years. She is remembered with great affection by her family and many friends.
riC McilWaine, born February 7, 1923; died January 12, 2018, aged 94.