He won’t bite the hand that feeds him

DOM SAYS:

CONGRATuLATIONS on finding a lovely man! As I understand it, it’s a rather tricky thing to do these days, so well done you.

However, I’m sorry you’re feeling scared and that this is marring your enjoyment of your new love. I have to say, I do sympathise with you.

Many years ago, my flatmate brought home an adorable little ball of fluff — a Jack Russell — and, despite my granny always telling me never to put my face close to a strange dog’s, I did, and was promptly bitten on the bridge of my nose. I ended up in hospital and was lucky not to have lost my sight.

So I understand your fear, but you must overcome it. I didn’t allow my injury to put me off the breed, and have known many fabulous Jack Russells since.

The problem here is that the pup sees you as an outsider. He is ‘top dog’ and has probably been spoilt by his master. Maybe he has never had to share him before?

But, unless you decide to walk away — which I think would be a great shame — the sharing starts now. And the only way that’s going to happen is if you build a relationship with the hound, as well as the man.

Think of it as though your bloke has a child, or a tricky sister — a close relationship that you have to nurture.

These things don’t happen overnight, but you wouldn’t expect him to abandon his child, or stop speaking to his sibling, and nor should you expect him to shun his dog.

Firstly, I think you should stay at his more often. One thing I know about dogs is that they are very similar to men. The way to their hearts is through their tummies. So turn up armed with treats. Take a dog chew every time you go to visit your chap. Ask if you can be the one to feed the dog in the morning. We all know the phrase about not biting the hand that feeds us, after all.

Our dog, Gigi, loves everyone, but, if you feed her, she definitely loves you best.

Then, ask to take the lead on a walk from time to time — show them, both of them, that you are part of the family now.

Once you get a bit braver, you could even invite the dog to stay with you — again, making it clear to both of them where you stand in the pecking order.

My sincere hope is that all goes well and that in time, you become a committed couple plus dog.

Only then will you have to encounter the next problem, one that all of us happily married dog owners have had from time to time — the extra pair of eyes in the bedroom! My advice? Ignore the audience and enjoy!