Get dog on side...and man will follow

STEPH SAYS:

MIGHT I venture to assume that you have never had a dog? I say this because the way your letter is written makes me think you have never fully understood the emotional depth of the bond between dogs and their owners.

You sound as if you consider this dog to be an inconvenience, but he is of great importance to his master and deserves to be treated with respect.

I’m tempted to tell you to run for the hills, as it would be best for the poor dog (and, most probably, his master).

Without knowing your background regarding animals, it’s hard for me to speculate as to why you feel so strongly about this, so let’s try to solve it.

It may be that you were bitten, or frightened, by a dog as a young child. It may be that your family had cats, or no pets at all, but you don’t see dogs as a good thing. This is a shame.

You’re missing out. I adore Gigi, our dachshund, but there is no point me telling you that — you have to feel it for yourself. I suggest you try to understand your own emotional response.

Get some professional help if you have any residual fear from childhood.

If, however, you are not suffering from a deep-rooted fear, I suggest that you try to resolve this issue by yourself, thereby showing your new chap you are serious about him and his dog.

Because, like it or not, you must accept that the dog will always come first.

On an emotional level, are you perhaps a little jealous? If not of the dog himself, then of the attention and importance given to him by your boyfriend? Whatever the root of this, you must aim to befriend the dog and learn to love him, too.

YouTube is your friend here. There are countless videos online that can teach you to become a ‘dog whisperer’ to this particular breed. (Sadly, I am lacking in the Jack Russell expertise department).

What you must not do, under any circumstances, is to raise this as a problem and then refuse to do anything about it.

Moaning about his dog and insisting he stay in your home, rather than his, all the time isn’t going to do any good.

In fact, carrying on in this manner will almost undoubtedly cause your relationship to fail.

You need to fully accept the dog is just defending his master, whom he loves. To him, you are an interloper and he is doing his job by keeping you at bay. He needs to understand your place in the pack, as does your chap.

Make the effort with his dog and he’ll see you’re serious about him. Get the dog on side and the man will surely follow . . . heel!