BEL MOONEY

Some people can take a while to pluck up the courage and get in touch about their problems, such as this week’s writer, Maureen, who charts her worries over nearly a year about her son’s infidelity . . .

DEAR BEL,

MY HUSBAND and I are nearly 70. Our son and his Italian wife, married 15 years, have a girl, aged 15, and boy, 13.

He is nine years younger than his 52-year-old wife, and is a very successful entrepreneur. Her family is in Italy so I’ve always tried to make her feel a part of the family and I became a sort of mother-figure confidante.

Last week our son left saying he could no longer be with her. He’s admitted an affair he says is now over. His wife says he’s trying to be a playboy and she has lost respect for him.

I have tried to reach out with support, but she unleashed a diatribe of hateful things and implied he’d been indulged too much.

My son has kept up contact with the children and tries to be available to them as much as possible. She’s a warm, kind and loving woman and deserves a happy life but cannot accept the marriage is over. TWO MONTHS LATER: They’re maintaining a warm relationship with the children but she is still not free of negativity but doing her best for the children. My son seems to be having it

both ways: single from Sunday to Thursday, then a family man over the weekend. The four of them spend time together — with tense moments when the children are wary. It breaks my heart to see once-happy kids dealing with this split.

MORE MONTHS LATER: They seemed to be working out a way forward. However, my granddaughter has just sent a heartfelt text asking me to speak to her dad as she thinks he will lose his family by pursuing a single life and spending time with his rich friends.

EVEN MORE MONTHS LATER: My son is verbally attacked as he entered the house after my daughter-in-law hacked his phone and discovered (as she suspected) his affair with a 27-year-old ‘hostess’ in London. Now he’s maintaining contact with the children but taking this woman on all his trips.

Instead of flying out to spend time with his children on holiday in Spain he went on a ‘business trip’ with the other woman. My granddaughter sent me a text saying his phone had stayed on in his pocket so she heard all their conversation. She believes the woman is more important than his children.

My daughter-in-law is now filing for divorce. She sent us a detailed email saying she needs our support as we are her only family. I’m finding it hard to know what to do.