CAMILLA’S COSY CHAT WITH A NUDIST HEADMASTER

HOLKHAM beach is still as beautiful as ever, attracting thousands of visitors each season, and is apparently consistently voted the most popular beach in England.

The Royal Family liked Holkham so much that my father gave them a beach hut, although it wasn’t really like those garden sheds painted in a pastel shade squeezed between others that dot the seafront, and was more of a summerhouse.

This one stood alone towards the far end of Holkham beach and had a big room, a veranda all the way round it and a small kitchen.

The Queen Mother would come down to the beach hut in the summer at teatime and bring the corgis for a walk along the dunes.

Below the hut to the far side there was, and still is, a nudist beach.

The Queen Mother’s protection officers weren’t too happy with the proximity of the naturists and would often be heard saying: ‘I don’t think you should go down to the beach today, Ma’am, because there are some nudists out there. It might be a bit embarrassing.’ To which she would reply: ‘Embarrassing? For whom? I’m longing to see them. Perhaps the corgis will nip their bottoms.’

And off she would go with the corgis. The nudists always seemed to be oblivious of her, the men too busy absorbed in their sport — everything dangling about — and the big-bosomed women sitting in the dunes, knitting.

The protection officers learnt to accept that there was no question of the Queen Mother not heading in their direction.

The nudist beach was of perennial interest. A few years ago, Prince Charles and the Duchess of Cornwall invited me to Sandringham during the flower show, and in the evening there was a dinner party with guests from the world of entertainment.

I had a great conversation with Dame Judi Dench, who told me how much she loved swimming, so I invited her to the beach for a swim.

The next day, the Duchess of Cornwall and Judi Dench arrived with some other friends and, despite the grey, windy weather, everybody got into their swimming costumes and jumped into the sea.

I only went up to my knees but Judi Dench was intrepid, rushing into the choppy water grinning broadly. When everybody got out of the sea, I told them about the nudist beach, relaying the story of the Queen Mother and her corgis. Well, of course, just like the Queen Mother, they all peered into the fog, and at that moment a man wearing only a towel and a rucksack came walking along the dunes.

Recognising the Duchess of Cornwall, he said hello. The Duchess struck up a conversation with him and discovered he was a nudist (albeit partially dressed at the time), so everybody piled in and asked him questions.

Eager to engage, he told us all about how liberating it was, how he loved being part of the elements, close to nature.

At the end of the conversation, the Duchess asked whether he lived and worked locally.

‘Yes,’ he said happily. ‘I’m headmaster of a school nearby.’

When he left, we fell about laughing. Being a headmaster and a nudist somehow didn’t seem to go together.