The one lesson I’ve learned from life
Lee Ryan, 36, of chart-topping band Blue, is also an actor who’s starred in eastenders and a former contestant on Strictly. He’s recently been touring the UK in Rip It Up The 70s. Single, he lives in London. WE’RE NOT MEANT TO BE HAPPY ALL THE TIME WHeN I was young, I was fond of reading a book about Native Americans that my mum, Sheila, bought me. It was full of proverbs, one of which really spoke to me — ‘The heart has no rainbow if the eyes have no tears.’
Later on, I came across a favourite Buddhist saying: ‘You don’t know life until you know pain.’
Both quotations showed me that we’re not meant to live our lives in a constant state of happiness. Without the sorrow, you wouldn’t appreciate the joy.
In other words, you’ve got to have the lows to savour the highs. And you don’t learn from being happy; you learn from being sad.
Similarly, it’s Ok to fail if you learn the lessons failure teaches you. I don’t have any regrets about the mistakes I’ve made because they’ve shown me that something good can come out of something bad.
For example, in Blue’s heyday, I didn’t pay attention to financial matters, preferring to listen to other people who took advantage of me. [The band’s company, Blueworld Ltd, went into liquidation in 2013; two years later Lee declared himself bankrupt]. I blame myself for that careless attitude; a legacy from my school years when I thought I knew it all. I’m much more astute these days.
Then I shouldn’t have lost the family life I had with my ex-fiance, Sammi, and our little boy, Rayn. He’s ten now and we’re really close again. But I neglected the relationship so it’s only relatively recently that he’s been able to see functioning co-parenting, something my mum and dad never achieved. [They split when Lee was six.]
I don’t know if I’ll settle down for a long time. I love the early months of a relationship and then I start concentrating on my career again. I also have a daughter, Bluebell, who’s 11. These are key ages for my kids so I’m working as hard as I know how to make memories with each of them that will last. They’re my priority for the next few years. RipItUpTheShow.com