Howdy Nigel, Donald from Washington here …first-time caller
HENRY DEEDES ...on a loopy start to the election campaign
NIGeL farage’s phonein show on LBC radio took a call from a ‘Donald in Washington’ last night. Yup. That’s right. No lesser grande formaggio than the President of the United States had picked up the blower to chew the cud about the state of Yew-kay politics.
We were warned this election might be a little different. expect the unexpected, said the pundits. The political landscape is, after all, a rather different vista these days.
But when the leader of the free World phones a regional radio show 3,600 miles away at 6pm, just as most listeners are clocki ng out of work and heading home for toad- i n- the- hole, to offer his two dimes’ worth on the runners and riders, well, then you know things have gone positively loopy.
Boris is a good guy, said Donald. A great guy. Wonderful guy.
farage, who normally berates the Tory PM at any opportunity didn’t demur. Why would he? A prize s coop had j ust landed in his lap.
‘Yes, Donald. Absolutely, Donald.’ Suddenly, Trump was playing matchmaker.
‘ I’d l i ke to see you l ot get together,’ he said, referring to farage’s Brexit Party and the Tories. ‘Boris respects you a lot. I wish you guys could get it t ogether.’ farage murmured something about Boris needing to chuck his Brexit deal first.
On Trump went. No reticence. No watching his words.
There were compliments for the Queen (‘an amazing woman, we really hit i t off ’ ) and Prince Charles (‘so, so good. We’re going to get it together’).
There was even some sympathy for Theresa May who he’ll never forget failed to take his advice on Brexit. ‘ She didn’t listen to me,’ he sighed.
Talk turned to Jeremy Corbyn who had declined the opportunity to attend Trump’s state banquet during his UK visit in June. ‘ He wasn’t invited,’ the Prez drawled. ‘I’m sure he’s a lovely man but of a different persuasion to put it mildly.’
The idea of Prime Minister Corbyn? ‘ Oh, Corbyn would be so bad for your country,’ Trump scoffed. ‘He’d take you into such bad places.’ A fTer
half an hour, firsttime caller Donald from Washington had to run. Putin was probably on LBC’s studio line two. Or possibly he had an appointment with his lunchtime Big Mac.
radio farage went back to taking calls from querulous London cab drivers.
earlier, across the Thames, in south London, Corbyn launched Labour’s campaign with a 20minute speech.
He appears to have discovered a bit of zing. Bounding on stage all bendy l egs and s miles, he reminded me of Grandpa Joe in Charlie And The Chocolate factory leaping from his bed.
The eyes blazed. Those arachnid digits clasped the lectern with giddy enthusiasm. When he momentarily got a frog in his gullet, he even managed a decent impromptu gag. ‘It’s OK,’ he said between gulps of water. ‘I’ve only got six more weeks of this.’ Well, I chuckled anyway.
What’s the old boy’s secret? Search me. Perhaps Diane Abbott’s been administering him a few vitamin B12 injections.
Our venue was Battersea Arts Centre, a cheerfully dilapidated former town hall.
Jezza was given a charming introduction by local MP Marsha De Cordova, who nicked this touch-and-go constituency off the Tories in 2017. As for the Labour leader’s speech, it was all hard-Left spittle.
He growled about Boris Johnson and the Conservatives, ‘who think they’re born to rule’ and ‘think they can do whatever they like’.
At this point, I couldn’t help notice one of his ultra-loyal sociali st sentinels, Laura Pidcock, mouthing along some of the words. Had she a hand in writing some of this claptrap? If so, her Master’s in Disaster Management from Northumbria University might have come in handy.
He talked of ‘transforming’ Britain by taking on ‘the few who run a corrupt system’. These, he said, were the ‘ tax- dodgers, dodgy landlords, bad bosses and big polluters’. The audience loved it.
‘Whose side are you on?’ Corbyn repeatedly asked them. ‘Yours!’ they unisoned.
Corbyn’s PMQ performances in the Commons are pretty hopeless. But he thrives in supportive settings such as these. It’s why he’s a better campaigner than most give him credit.
Actually, to say the 300- strong crowd were ‘supportive’ is undercooking it. ‘Adoring’ would be more apposite. Almost cult-like.
In front of me sat an elderly dear in a red Che Guevara beret who welcomed each pronouncement with thunderclap applause.
even the shadow cabinet, seated behind Corbyn, had been given a heroes’ welcome. When they arrived, anyone would think a bunch of oiled-up Chippendales had just whipped off their Velcro trousers at a hen night.
Corbyn insisted the election was not about himself. funnily enough, I recall the hapless Theresa May saying something similar about herself in 2017.
for all the nonsense he spoke, in terms of performance, this was a far more energised Corbyn than we are used to seeing. Still, there’s a long way for the 70-year-old to go before the finish line – but enough time to give radio farage a call.