Hibs’ invisible man can’t keep playing losing hand
IT’S almost three decades since Hibs fan Irvine Welsh unleashed
Trainspotting on the nation. The names of Mark Renton, Franco Begbie, Simon ‘Sick Boy’ Williamson and Spud Murphy were quickly immortalised. First in print, later on film.
Yet director Danny Boyle’s favourite character never made the jump from the written page to the big screen.
Rab ‘Second Prize’ McLaughlin was no Josh Taylor. One of Leith’s great losers and boozers, he acquired his nickname from the fights he fought and habitually lost.
‘He was always coming second,’ explained Boyle, ‘he never came first in anything.’
In that respect, Rab McLaughlin was the human embodiment of his local football team. There was something very Hibs about Second Prize.
When the Hibees won the Scottish Cup after a 114-year wait, the post-match ‘over-exuberance’ was born of disbelief. Under Alan Stubbs, the perennial bottlers of Scottish football finally learned how to land a punch. Literally, as some Rangers players found out.
When Neil Lennon replaced Stubbs, the attitude ramped up a notch. There was an aeroplane celebration on the pitch following a 5-5 draw with Rangers when they just missed out on the runner-up spot in the Premiership. But their resources were no match for their new-found ambition. As they do, Hibs crashed and burned.
They made a rip-roaring mess of Lennon’s departure. They messed up the choice of his replacement by appointing Paul Heckingbottom.
They messed up their summer recruitment so badly they blew a chance to finish off Craig Levein as manager of Hearts long before the guillotine finally fell.
Squandering a match-winning lead in the Edinburgh derby, they even managed to resurrect an old favourite of the Scottish lexicon. Once again, they’d Hibs’d it.
This wasn’t how the bold new era of Ronald Gordon was supposed to pan out.
Five months ago, the new owner stood with a green and white scarf above his head and made some bold pronouncements.
‘We need to start making progress,’ said the American media mogul.
‘I don’t think you can go from A-Z without going through all the letters. We need to do that.’
Since those words, Hibs have barely made it past C. They’ve won one in their last 15 league games. They’ve shipped a matchwinning lead five times in nine games. They sit second bottom of the league in the relegation play-off place. Entering this evening’s Betfred Cup semi-final with Celtic, no one gives them a hope in hell.
It wouldn’t take a massive investment for Gordon to leave the likes of Motherwell, Ross County, Livingston, St Mirren and Hamilton trailing in the rear-view mirror.
Yet no one has the first idea what the new owner plans to do about his club’s chronic underperformance. A self-made man in the communications industry, supporters haven’t heard a word from their latest custodian in months.
A man who makes Rod Petrie seem like a loquacious publicity seeker, Gordon has spent the week in Edinburgh, having dinner with his manager and attending Wednesday’s 2-2 draw with
Livingston. Yet his profile is such he could have walked from Waverley Station to Easter Road unrecognised. He’s the Invisible Man.
While the findings of a strategic review of the club’s operations remain firmly under wraps, all the fans get are dog-whistle statements.
Chief Executive Leeann Dempster hit out at the SPFL for reclaiming unsold concessionary tickets for tonight’s semi-final and handing them over to Celtic instead.
Yet the league only stepped in because, at the time, the Edinburgh club had sold just 6,000 of their initial 13,500 allocation.
As part of his review, Gordon really should be asking his CEO why fans were hardly rushing to snap up tickets for Hampden in the first place. Cost is one reason. Epic mismanagement on and off the pitch another.
After watching the team throw away a 2-0 lead against Ross County last weekend, the punters made their feelings known.
They liked the new, winning Hibs of Stubbs, then Lennon. The reverse ferret under Heckingbottom has persuaded many to stay away from Hampden tonight. To stay away full-stop.
Reaching the Betfred Cup final might buy the Hibs boss more time, but would only paper over the cracks. With every passing day, Hibs grow more and more like Danny Boyle’s favourite loser. Picking fights they can’t win, taking second prize.