Are you saying Happy Christmas, Humphrey? Yes Minister
THE sublime verbosity of Yes Minister was never better than in this short special from 1982. It has everything — not least, of course, the marvellous cast of Paul Eddington as Jim Hacker and Nigel Hawthorne and Derek Fowlds as his smoothly patronising civil servants Sir Humphrey and Bernard. Despite their assistance, Hacker continued to climb the greasy pole of politics and became Prime Minister. In 1988 he delivered a speech to camera that began, ‘Christmas is a special time — a time for children, a time for families.’ Breaking off, he demanded to know who had come up with ‘this drivel’... only to be told that he’d written it himself. ‘Oh,’ mused Hacker, adjusting his tie and searching as always for a political excuse, ‘I must have been drunk.’
JIM HACKER, the minister for Administrative Affairs, is sitting at his desk and opening a Christmas card. Standing alongside him is his Principal Private Secretary, Bernard Woolley.
JIM HACKER: Is that the lot Bernard? BERNARD: Well before you go home for the holidays Minister, Sir Humphrey has something to say to you.
He looks confused, takes off his glasses. Bernard opens the door to let in the minister’s Permanent Secretary, Sir Humphrey Appleby, who enters holding a sheaf of papers.
SIR HUMPHREY: Ah, thank you, Bernard
He puts his papers down on the desk, remains standing while he addresses the minister.
SIR HUMPHREY: I wonder if I might crave your momentary indulgence in order to discharge a by no means disagreeable obligation, which has over the years become more or less established practice within government circles as we approach the ter- minal period of the year calendar, of course, not financial, in fact, not to put too fine a point on it, week 51.
The minister continues to look baffled.
SIR HUMPHREY: And submit to you with all appropriate deference for your consideration at a convenient juncture a sincere and sanguine expectation, indeed confidence, indeed one might go so far as to say, hope, that the aforementioned period may be at the end of the day, when all relevant factors have been taken into consideration, susceptible of being deemed to be such as to merit a final verdict of having been by no means unsatisfactory in its overall outcome, and in the final analysis to give grounds for being judged, on mature reflection, to have been conducive to generating a degree of gratification which will be seen in retrospect to have been significantly higher than the general average. JIM HACKER: (To Bernard) What’s he talking about?
BERNARD: Well Minister, I think Sir Humphrey just wanted to crave your momentary indulgence in order to discharge a by no means disagreeable obligation... JIM HACKER: (Interrupts) All right, all right, Bernard. But Humphrey... SIR HUMPHREY: At the end of the day, minister, all things being...
JIM HACKER: Just a minute...
SIR HUMPHREY: Yes Minister?
JIM HACKER: Are you saying Happy
Christmas?
SIR HUMPHREY: Yes, Minister.