Anagram Jokes
THESE two jokes about phone conversations are anagrams of one other.
Tony Crafter, Sevenoaks, Kent.
SEVERAL men were in a golf club changing room. Suddenly, a cell-phone on a bench rang and one of the men engaged the hands-free speaker function and started to chat. Everyone else in the room stopped to listen. MAN: ‘Hello.’
WOMAN: ‘Hi babe, it’s me. Are you down at the club?’ MAN: ‘Yes.’
WOMAN: ‘I’m doing some shopping right now and I’ve found this gorgeous, pure leather jacket. It’s only £2K; do you mind if I buy it?’
MAN: ‘No, just go ahead if you want it.’
WOMAN: ‘I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and viewed their latest models. There was this cherry-red one that I particularly loved.’ MAN: ‘How much?’
WOMAN: ‘£70K.’ MAN: ‘Sounds good. Go ahead, but for that price I’d want it with all the bells and whistles. Leather upholstery and so on.’
WOMAN: ‘Oh, wow! Right, I’ll do the deal! Oh, and one other thing . . . I was just talking to Judith Hoddle and found out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They’re asking £980K.’
MAN: ‘Bid £900K. They’ll probably take it. If not, I’d be happy to do the extra eighty thousand if that’s what you want.’
WOMAN: ‘Oh, right! I love you so much, honey. See you later!’
MAN: ‘Bye. Love you, too.’ The man hung up. The other guys in the locker room were gawping at him in open-mouthed astonishment. He turned round and said: ‘Anybody know whose phone this is?’ Ring, ring . . . Ring, ring . . . ring . . . ‘Hello?’ ‘Hey there, honey, it’s Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?’ ‘No, Daddy. She’s in the bedroom with Uncle Alan.’ (After a brief pause) ‘But you haven’t got an Uncle Alan, honey.’ ‘Yes I have, and he is upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy right now.’ (Brief pause) ‘Er, okay, honey, this is what I want you to do. Lay the telephone down on the table. Then go upstairs, knock on the bedroom door and call out to Mommy that Daddy’s car is just coming into the driveway. Okay?’ ‘Okay, I’m going up now.’ (A few minutes later) ‘I did what you asked me to, Daddy.’ ‘Fine, and exactly what happened, honey?’ ‘Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug and hit her head real bad on the dresser. Now she isn’t moving at all!’ ‘Oh, my God! So, what about your Uncle Alan? Can he assist?’ ‘No, he jumped out of the bed with no clothes on as well. Then he was so scared that he jumped straight out of the back window and fell headfirst into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn’t know that you took out all the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he’s been killed.’ (A long pause . . . a longer pause . . . an even longer pause) ‘Swimming pool? Er, is that 99800702?’ ‘No, I think you have the wrong number . . .’