Top tips for lockdown survival... by my mum
THE novelty has well and truly worn off. Almost two weeks into lockdown and I’ve burned through all my box sets and contemplated lemon juice on my rapidly growing roots, while the cat is so cross at my constant presence she’s on the verge of moving out for good.
But as someone who lived alone for 17 years, and once spent ten weeks in voluntary self-isolation after a rather exciting incident in a war zone, I also know a few things about being stuck in the house.
Here then, are my top tips for getting through lockdown with your sanity intact. After all, as the Government keeps telling us, we’re all in this together.
TREAT YOURSELF: My mother, who is three weeks into self-isolating on her own and is, frankly, nailing the whole thing to such an extent that the WHO should put her on the payroll, has come up with a blinder when it comes to treating yourself well.
One day a week she dresses up as if she were off out for a night on the tiles, cooks herself a slap-up meal and eats it at the dining table. It’s genius, so much so that we did something similar ourselves last Saturday, putting on our best bib and tucker, having a cocktail hour where we chatted on Zoom with friends, then splurging on one of our favourite meals.
It’s not quite dinner at Rogano, but believe me, it’s better for the soul than baked beans in your dressing gown.
EAT WHAT YOU LIKE: Ladies (and gentlemen where applicable), this is not the time to lose two stone. Worry about all that later. Now is the time for comfort food, childhood favourites, a cup of tea and a Hobnob, your favourite nibble with your evening G&T, and, of course, using up all that stuff you secretly panic bought a few weeks ago.
As the old saying goes, enjoy everything in moderation, including moderation. Particularly during lockdown. If cooking is therapeutic, whip up a stew or bake a cake. If you fancy something that reminds you of happier days, whether it’s a pub lunch on the West Coast or your favourite Indian curry house, then try recreating that too. Let’s face it, you have the time.
We’re having scampi and chips tonight. Can’t wait.
LET LOOSE ONCE IN A WHILE: Last Saturday my fiancé and I spent 20 minutes running round our postage stamp-sized garden in an attempt to get up to 10,000 steps a day. We made, I am told, quite a sight, trudging up and down the tiny lawn, trying not to bump into each other or the uncooperative apple tree.
I know this because when I rang our neighbour a few days later inquiring if she’d like anything from the shops, she informed me we were ‘the talk of the steamie’. The neighbourhood, apparently, thought we were hilarious. Or ridiculous. Normally I might have flushed crimson at the thought. Now, I’m wondering if we should do it again this weekend in fancy dress.
READ AND WATCH WHAT YOU WANT: I’ve seen a few eggheads declare they’re using the lockdown to read great historical tomes such as Crime and Punishment or James Joyce’s Ulysses. Good for them. You won’t catch me plunging into such hefty prose, though.
I’m not (that) ashamed to say that over the past fortnight I have been devouring classics from my childhood: Little Women, the What Katy Did series, and my dog-eared Malory Towers books, in preparation for the new BBC adaptation. They’re easy to read, comforting and perfect for transporting me away from the realities around us. The same goes for lovely old BBC dramas, Agatha Christie adaptations and cosy crime shows such as Morse and Lewis. Christmas holiday telly is, it turns out, just the ticket in a pandemic.
IT’S OK TO HAVE A LITTLE CRY: With so many awful things going on in the world, you’ll probably think that you’re one of the lucky ones. And chances are that if you have a roof over your head, food in the fridge and your health, then you are.
But that doesn’t mean you can’t feel upset, or sad, or scared about what’s happening, or frustrated that the light in the oven has broken or you can’t go for a drink down the local. Sometimes, a little cry can do the world of good. Be kind to yourself, particularly if you’re on your own.
KEEP THE LITTLE GREY CELLS WORKING:
Another tip from my mum, the designated queen of self-isolation. She has been busy writing up a quiz for her friends (the subject is music, as she runs her own choir – I told you she was amazing) with lots of little brain teasers. High on the success of it, she’s now hard at work on the follow-up: a crossword. I fully expect her to emerge from lockdown having created some sort of musical Sudoku puzzle that will immediately be turned into a highly successful app.
… BUT DON’T OVERDO IT: There has been daft advice floating about on how lockdown is the ideal time to write a novel, learn to macramé or pen three light operettas. I can’t think of anything worse. Look, if the muse strikes you, give it a go. But if it doesn’t, it’s also perfectly acceptable to watch four episodes of Midsomer Murders on the trot.
DRINK BOOZE: One individual on social media was advocating something called ‘dry lockdown’. The only correct response is: ‘Good God no. Are you mad?’ Cheers. Emma Cowing