I’ve learned to accept the abuse I get from trolls... but it can be a big problem for others
A comment about how someone looks can put them in a bad place
MOCKED, taunted and verbally abused about his appearance since he was a child, Charlie Adam has accepted that sinister trolls will always find a place to lurk.
But while the former Rangers and Scotland midfielder has learned to shrug off disgusting comments aimed in his direction, he knows not everyone is able to cope in the circumstances.
One vicious post on social media could be all it takes to have a devastating impact on the mental health of any individual — whether it be a professional footballer or not.
Adam found himself having to block out attacks once again on New Year’s Day.
After scoring Reading’s winning goal in a 2-1 victory against Fulham, pictures of him celebrating soon met with a harsh reaction online.
After leaving the pitch at Craven Cottage, Adam discovered trolls making a fool of his appearance and claiming he looked far older than his 34 years. Sadly, it was just another example of the hate directed at the player.
Now, speaking up for others during Mental Health Awareness Week, he is urging people to stop and think before they potentially cause upset.
‘I’ve had those sorts of comments about my appearance since I was a young kid, so the abuse is something I’ve accepted,’ said former Liverpool and Stoke City star Adam.
‘Has it affected me mentally? I would say no as it doesn’t bother me. That’s my look, that’s my appearance and I’m comfortable how I am. If I wasn’t comfortable, then I’d spend the money to fix it but I can handle someone shouting something at me from the terracing.
‘I’m used to getting stick because of my teeth and, although I can handle that, I can understand why other people may not be able to deal with those comments.
‘People need to think more about what they say because a comment about someone’s appearance could easily entice them into a bad place.
‘We need to try and educate the next generation coming through and improve how they talk to people. It’s important that we do that.
‘If I was Joe Bloggs on the street and someone said something, it would become a scuffle. But, as a footballer, you have to ignore it because if you bite back it becomes a big story.
‘Being mentally strong as a footballer and a coach is so important to ensure you don’t react to these people.’
Adam has spoken honestly about dealing with mental-health struggles since the death of his father, Charlie Adam Senior, who took his own life in December 2012.
The unimaginable grief he suffered left him fighting to cope — admitting he ‘exploded’ after his dad, whose own footballing career included spells at St Johnstone, Brechin City and Dundee United, passed away aged 50.
To this day, Adam is thankful to those he was able to turn to and ask for help.
‘I always believed my dad was a strong, hard man but I knew he had a soft side to him and was never scared to have a cry if he needed to,’ he said. ‘A lot of people in the game also saw him as quite a hard guy but, deep down, something wasn’t right.
‘I was sat in a supermarket car park around Christmas time when I found out and I got a call from my brother to tell me.
‘Normally my dad would wrap Christmas presents with the door shut so we couldn’t see in and he’d done that, which we felt was normal. After about an hour and a half, my brother went to see what he was up to, managed to get in the door and saw him lying there, which was obviously a huge shock.
‘I had a tough time after that, on and off the pitch. It wasn’t until the following year that everything started to sink in. I went to speak to someone about it and I was told that I was taking on a burden for the whole family and that was why it was affecting me so much. I was trying to be a supportive brother, husband, father and son.
‘A year after my dad’s death, I just exploded. I broke down but thankfully managed to speak to people who got me back. I’m glad I was able to do that.’
Adam was speaking yesterday as the SFA launched an eLearning Mental Health Coach Education module that will be available to all coaches, volunteers and administrators within the game.
The module, which has been created by Hampden Sports Clinic, in conjunction with Breathing Space, will take the form of an online educational course.
With more players opening up about their mental health problems, Adam is encouraged to see these issues become more accepted in society.
‘In the past, a lot of people would have kept it bubbled up inside of them but now we’re getting more people opening up and speaking about it,’ said Adam, who joined Reading last summer after his spells with Blackpool, Liverpool and Stoke.
‘It’s great that people in the public eye like myself can speak out and tell them that you’re not alone and it’s always good to talk.
‘I think mental health issues are accepted more now in the changing room than they would have been when I was coming through at Rangers. I think back then you would just have been called soft.
‘The biggest problem for academies is that these kids might reach 17 and they don’t get a contract. I think we need to look after people who don’t make it in the game, as they could easily dip into a very low part of their life.’
Uncertainty surrounding the future of the game remains rife during the coronavirus pandemic and Adam has encouraged footballers to try to stay mentally strong.
‘It’s a huge worry for players,’ he added. ‘I think there could be 40 per cent of players in England who could be out of contract this season and I think it’ll be tough for players to find deals that suit them. ‘There needs to be a place for people to talk about their worries as this will be when the tough times will come. Hopefully, we can emerge from this period in as best shape possible as it’ll be a struggle.
‘My contract with Reading runs out at the end of the season, whenever that’ll be, and then after that we’ll look to see what happens. I want to keep playing for as long as possible.
‘Once I retire, hopefully I can get the opportunity to coach. I am always watching games, from a variety of levels across Britain. Not everyone can go into a job at the top, so you need to know your players across the divisions and that’s something I’m passionate about.’