Today’s poem

Now here’s the latest issue that I feel compelled to mention Different household attitudes to Covid, causing tension. A husband’s agoraphobic and a-fearing for his life But the kids are acting wayward and he can’t hold back his wife. Although he’s barred the doorway, as he’s the one who’s stronger It’s led to a big showdown as her locks get ever longer. The hairdressers are beckoning — she wants to take the risk, Leading to a tussle, where the bloke near slips a disc. And then there’s aged Elsie, whose grandkids fuss and fiddle So she declines to let them know that she sneaked out to Lidl. She feels that she is sensible and needs to have her way, It’s sending her doolally stuck at home alone all day. It’s not just other households who suffer such a plight; My daughter’s driving me insane, bleaching all in sight. I mention meeting with a friend — she really huffs at that, And on returning home I’m firmly grilled on where I sat. ‘Were the windows open? Did your fingers touch a cup?’ ‘Did you take the antibax? You’re sure you were masked up?’ I thought it was the younger kids who didn’t give a damn. I didn’t think that she would be the member of the fam To lecture me on every rule and make me feel so hounded. PS: I’m writing in my room because I’ve now been grounded!

Nanda Marchant, Lutterworth, Leics.

Limerick

Talk about lowering the tone, Prince Andrew, you’d think, should have known That it just isn’t done For his pals to have fun, Being photographed on the Queen’s throne.

I. G. Fenner, New Milton, Hants.