The best body can’t beat a lovely smile

I want to upgrade my body To one that’s elegant and sleek, That doesn’t suffer from expansion If I’ve had too much to eat.

My skeleton needs oiling To prevent ancient joints from creaking, Some bits may need replacement To gain the comfort I am seeking.

Add to this some toned up muscles To hold all the bones together They must be strong and functional And cope in any type of weather.

I would like to have an SD card Inserted firmly in the brain, To prevent all my happy memories Disappearing down the drain.

The cardiovascular system Requires a lot of cleaning up, To help improve the blood flow Preventing clots from getting stuck.

The gut needs calming measures As it can be too enthusiastic, When in acceleration mode The results can be quite drastic.

My urinary tract needs sorting To reduce the urgent need to pee, Oh, how I long for a full night’s sleep Without rising for a wee.

The wrinkles must all be ironed out, Hair changed to a sexy colour, Perhaps some skin enhancement Where old age has made it duller.

I want my vision to be sharpened up And I’ll get a super hearing aid, Followed by dental implants For which I do not have to pay.

When I presented at the Body Shop, The girl could not keep a straight face, As, giggling, she informed me, I had come to the wrong place.

It can be fun to fantasise But we must all accept the ageing lot, Maintaining a sense of humour, And making the most of what we’ve got.

If we have loving friends and family, We all are truly blessed, Then if we can keep on smiling, Folk can’t fail to be impressed.