When he proposed, I said: ‘We need to chat about fertility. Will I get pregnant? I probably don’t have the greatest eggs any more.’
aspire to,’ says Ruby. ‘We challenged the labs on product testing to ensure all shades were tested on all tones of skin.’
It’s ironic that just as Ruby & Millie was at the height of its success, her marriage was unravelling. ‘I felt like I’d failed,’ she says. ‘I’d be crying in the shower and then have to go and meet an executive from Boots.’
Ruby did everything she could to save the marriage, but realises now it was never quite a relationship of equals — another of the unavoidable consequences of such an age gap, perhaps.
‘I looked up to George because I was that bit younger. It was an amazing marriage until it went pear-shaped. But he was used to doing things his own way.’
She remembers George turning up with a new Bentley Continental to take her and Reena for a spin. ‘I thought: “OK, it’s his money.” But he would never have thought of consulting me before spending such a lot.’
Only years later, when she saw a therapist, did she realise quite how angry and upset it had made her. Now she always checks things with Martin, ‘because I’ve gone through that myself’.
She dIvORCed George when she was 40. he remarried quite quickly and used his share of the proceeds of a multi-million pound sale of Aveda (to estée Lauder in 1999) to found the super-salon Urban Retreat at harrods. Ruby, meanwhile, took a 50 per cent share of their firm hammer holdings as her divorce settlement.
Today, at 58, slender with tumbling hair, Ruby can still turn heads, though she is realistic about what women go through ‘physiologically and hormonally’ after menopause. Unsurprisingly, she’s expertly made up today — though it looks as if she is hardly wearing any make-up.
She chats matter-of-factly about going grey, tweezing fine chin hair and her body changing: ‘I was a skinny Lizzie my entire life, but I’m not the same shape any more. I’d never exercised in my life, but I have to now.’
Not that she’s about to wallow. ‘I’m pro-ageing. You’ve got no other option. When you’ve lost both parents — my mother was only 67 when she died — to age is a privilege. The longer you’re alive is a blessing.’
Like many, she has known the exhaustion and anxiety of looking after a parent while going through her own midlife wobble. She was 50 and entering the menopause when her mother was diagnosed with cancer, and describes it now as a shattering time both physically and emotionally. It was then she began to panic.
She worried that Martin, who dJs at friends’ parties under the name dJ Sultan, wouldn’t want ‘some crabby old bat’ who wanted to go to bed early for a wife. ‘You think: “Oh my God, is he looking at these glamorous young people and wishing he was with them?” ’
Not that Martin gave her cause for concern. ‘he was exactly the same person. he wasn’t any different. And it’s not like I’d ever hidden my age from him. he had seen my passport, met my daughter, met my mum. he’d been with me through many life experiences.
‘But in any relationship, whether there’s age disparity or not, none of us can take things for granted.’
For a while, Martin was confused by the change in her. ‘I told him: “I’m not making a drama out of it, but I’m kind of having trouble finding out who the hell I am. You’re going to have to Google the menopause, read about it and then talk to me.”
‘And he said: “But could I have some guidelines, just so I don’t get it absolutely wrong?” ’
Clever chap. he was also far too diplomatic to point out any of signs of ageing.
Instead, it was her daughter who took Ruby aside to whisper about new smatterings of grey. ‘We were on holiday in the sun and Reena looked at me and said: “Mum, you’re going to have to do something. You look as if you’re ill.”
‘If all my hair had been grey and looked good, I’d probably have gone with it. every woman makes her own choice. But there were these gaps of light. It was this splitter-splatter effect and it looked odd. Reena said: “have it dyed professionally.” And it did make me feel better.’
‘Martin’s hair is totally white in places now. And, actually, that disparity almost makes us look the same age.’
RUBY and Martin never did have a baby of their own and, after many late-night heart-tohearts, decided not to opt for IvF either. Instead, Martin was by her side when Reena, 33, got married last year — as were George, now 70, and his wife Nemri. Ruby is pinning her hopes on grandchildren.
Not having kids has meant she and Martin have been able to give each other proper time. ‘We have just focused on each other. We give each other full attention.’
She has also reinvigorated her career, working on magazine cover shoots as a make-up artist with women such as helen Mirren and Ruth Jones.
Last year, she also launched her new make-up start-up, Ruby hammer, the first label she has owned herself. (Ruby & Millie was owned by Boots until it ceased production in 2011).
But, after experiencing burnout in her 30s with Ruby & Millie, she doesn’t want to work that hard again. The new range is deliberately conceived, therefore, as a small capsule collection of beauty essentials, including a stackable brush set (hailed by vogue as ‘a make-up bag must-have’) and a nail kit, in her signature red.
‘I want to bring a little joy to our dressing tables with items that are useful and needed,’ she says.
Sometimes, yes, it still hits her that Martin’s friends are much younger than her and often have young children. But most of the time, having an energetic younger husband is a wonderful morale boost. ‘he’s really loyal. he even joked that it wouldn’t be him running off to find a new woman, but me, off to find a third husband.’
Though she still likes to tease. ‘Martin reminds me that I kept saying he’d have to last at least 16 years [a year longer than her first marriage], before I could begin to trust him. Sorry, George,’ she says with a wink.
‘So now, Martin says: “Well I’ve lasted it, so now I’m off.”
And I say: “OK, I’ll find another one. And the next one will be 20 years younger!” ’
‘He was at that age when young men want to have kids and, straight away, I had a vision of years of IVF’