Is it just ME?

Or are you secretly glad there is no office party?

⬤ SO HERE it is, Merry Christmas — although there’s no denying that this festive season feels a little less, well, festive than usual. But there is a silver lining to this cloud. This year there will be no office party — and I couldn’t be happier. I wouldn’t mind betting an awful lot of people feel the same way.

There’s something horribly awkward about the work do we all feel obliged to attend. To start with, there’s the agonising over what to wear. Buy something cheap from the High Street and you run the risk of seeing three others in the same dress.

There may be a free bar, but if you take advantage and get sozzled, you know you risk making a fool of yourself. I know that somewhere out there footage exists of me standing on a bar performing Islands In The Stream, with reindeer antlers on my head.

Filled with a sense of goodwill (and Prosecco), I take

Somewhere out there exists footage of me singing Islands In The Stream with antlers on my head

pity on anyone I see standing by themselves and go to talk to them. Half an hour later, when Jackie from I.T. is still droning on about the new software package, I realise why everyone is giving her a wide berth.

You also spend far too much time in the loo in order to avoid Pervy Pete from the Post Room who is desperate to drag you onto the dance floor to perform Gangnam Style with him.

More sensible partygoers will bow out early. The irresponsible ones (and guess which category I fall into) will be persuaded to go on to some weird little nightclub you’d only ever go to after the Christmas party.

The next day, you realise you brought home someone else’s coat and left your debit card behind the bar at said weird little nightclub.

Respite from the office party is, surely, one of the better things to come out of 2020. ⬤