Who says big pants can’t be sexy!
BEVERLEY TURNER
THERE’S a secret trend afoot in the UK which requires elucidation: in lockdown, we girls have looked down and decided to quarantine our tiny pants and say ‘hello, old friend’ to cheek-covering, snuggly granny-knickers.
Don’t just take my word for it, the retail statistics back me up: searches for ‘comfy’ and ‘high-waisted’ underwear went up a whopping 46 per cent in December, while those at the polar opposite ends of the underwear market — Marks & Spencer and Agent Provocateur — are finding some surprising common ground, as customers’ tastes move firmly towards the ample.
The reasons for this are many, but start with comfort. The pandemic has meant we have to search out tactile pleasure wherever we can, and it starts with our knickers. With a glass of wine in one hand and the TV remote in the other, I need nothing more than a nice, big pair of comfy knickers under a fleecy onesie as I collapse on the sofa at night.
While the size of women’s pants has always been at the mercy of fashion — from bloomers, to camiknickers to the tiny, cheesewire thongs and tangas of the 1980s and 1990s — spending more time at home has empowered women to decide what style we want on our own terms: and it turns out we want to be comfortable and sexy.
Working from home has rendered thongs redundant. Our figurehugging suits and body-con dresses haven’t been out of the wardrobe in months, removing the threat of that social faux pas, the VPL (visible panty line). Zoom calls demand only a decorous upper-half so it doesn’t matter what you’re wearing below the waist.
Then there’s the sad but true
reality that our bodies are not what they were pre-March 2020 — high-calorie, mood-boosting food has taken on a new importance, while gyms have been off-limits. With ever-increasing waistlines, many of us are reaching for pants which won’t cut off the circulation to our extremities.
And there’s the undeniable fact, particularly in recent weeks, that big knickers are warmer!
Perhaps unsurprisingly, solicitors are predicting a spike in the divorce rate as we emerge from the claustrophobia of lockdown, but for some couples the opposite has been true. Many people — myself included — have found that spending so much time together, without the distractions of the busy, outside world, has been bonding.
Maybe women buying big, bright, attractive pants is a sign of sexual optimism (even if we can only dream about a future without the kids in the house all the time). As a committed thong girl, I’ve found this new, more generous style a complete game-changer. Plus, they’re a good investment: trust me, G-strings don’t survive too many hot washes but I have huge bottom-huggers older than my firstborn (and he’s 17!). It seems we’ve emerged from lockdown resourceful, practical and ready for what life throws at us.
A new genre of cleverly cut, beautifully designed undergarment, in some truly gorgeous colours — gone are the horrid beiges and whites of the multipack granny pants of old — have emerged that flatter and do wonders for any figure, and could never be described as frumpy.
So I hope we have got to the bottom of such a significant social trend. Click and buy ladies — you’ve never had such a long list of reasons to keep your tush toasty.