Ephraim Hardcastle
THE Queen, now the loving owner of one surviving dorgi, must savour the spirited antics of Downing Street terrier Dilyn. When Buckingham Palace was highly populated with corgis a footman – delivering HM’s tea tray – became entangled with a favoured pet, fell and sprained his ankle. Initially ignored by the monarch, he lay on the floor as she picked up the dog and inspected it for any damage. At least the flunkey wasn’t put down.
CHIPS Channon’s newly published diaries reveal a Camilla-like solution to the Wallis Simpson quandary. Channon urged Prime Minister Stanley Baldwin to elevate Wallis as Duchess of Lancaster, adding: ‘In ten years, when the country is used to her, she could be declared Queen.’
FOLLOWING the approval of Pope Francis, Harry’s priest ancestor George Spencer, known as Father Ignatius, is expected to become a saint. Perhaps appropriately, Harry and Meghan prayer candles, pictured, are now offered for sale on the internet. The image of haloed Harry dressed in holy vestments would surely have the blessing of Saint Ignatius.
KATE Winslet expresses regret at working with film-makers Woody Allen and Roman Polanski. ‘It’s just unbelievable to me now that those men have been held in such high regard in this industry, and for such a long time.’ Is this the same Kate who declared in 2017: ‘Woody Allen is an incredible director. So is Roman Polanski. I had an extraordinary working experience with both of those men, and that’s the truth’. A doppelganger Kate?
VIEWERS who switch channels at the sight of Dawn French in The Vicar Of Dibley will be cheered by the reaction of Rowan Atkinson when offered a one-off role as the Bishop of Mulberry. ‘Rowan said he was going to do it,’ recalls writer Richard Curtis. ‘And then he watched an episode of the show and thought “F*** that”. “I’m so sorry Dick,” he said, “It really is awful!”’
TUC general secretary Frances O’Grady takes to the Radio 4 airwaves to criticise Boris’s reconstruction policy, declaring: ‘This Government must get serious. Having a soundbite like Build Back Better isn’t good enough.’ And who is one of the principal backers of Keir Starmer’s ‘build back better’ campaign? Take a bow Comrade O’Grady!
SAUCY socialite Kathy Lette, 62, wails on Twitter: ‘As I wait patiently in the inoculation queue, I’m starting to get a chronic case of Vaccine Envy. If one more younger person boasts to me how they managed to nab a jab through “medical contacts”, I’m going to jab them in the eye with my pencil.’ Deep breaths, Kathy.