Will my new man, 87, stay with me?

DEAR BEL

I AM a widow of 81. Both my marriages have ended in widowhood. For six weeks I had a romantic relationship with Bill, who is 87 and was made a widower last October after 60 years of marriage.

He and his late wife were church friends of my late husband and me. Bill and I were very comfortable in each other’s company and laughed a lot. He is about to move into a nice flat 14 miles away.

Bill’s two daughters are opposed to our relationship — understandable as their mother died only four months ago. A week ago he phoned and abruptly said we must part for two months.

Since he’s moving very shortly I have a feeling I will never see him again — and feel very upset. Life had suddenly become worthwhile — and now it is not. Can you give me some words of comfort?

PAT

WHAT a wonderful life you’ve led, with two long marriages behind you, teaching you about love and loss. and how glorious that at 81 you still feel your heart full of love.

age cannot stop that life force, that quest for more happiness — and I admire your zest for life and love, as well as your understanding of his daughters’ feelings. You sound like a wonderful person.

Of course you’re sad now, because it seems an unexpectedly happy time has ended. I’m wondering if Bill is moving because he wants to — or to be near one of his daughters.

Whatever the reason, he will only be 14 miles away. He was probably abrupt on the phone because he feels sad and a bit embarrassed. Men aren’t so good at expressing feelings, as you must have learned over the years.

Who can say whether or not you and Bill will share laughter again? If I were you, I’d write him a lovely cheerful letter, saying how much you’ve enjoyed the recent good times and look forward to picking up your lovely friendship in the future.

Moving is stressful, but you hope he settles well and will invite you to visit in May or June — and be sure to ask that he gives you his new address because you want to write.

No sadness, no reproach, Pat, just affection and gratitude and hope.