Going grey gracefully? It could lead to social shame
FOR some women, the sight of the first grey hair can be cause for alarm.
And it could be with good reason, according to a study, as those who choose not to dye their grey hair face being shamed or treated as less competent.
Research from the University of Exeter found that women who embraced their natural grey hair noted a difference in how they were treated by others – with some risking ‘social rejection’ or being seen as ‘warm but incompetent’.
And many felt they had to compensate for looking older in other ways, such as by paying more attention to their clothes and make-up.
The research, published in the Journal of Women & Aging, looked at 80 women from countries such as the UK, the US and Australia.
The women, mostly aged between 40 and 60, were members of two Facebook groups about the transition to grey hair.
Women reported being seen as more fragile after choosing to go grey with one in her fifties saying she felt she ‘lost credibility’ with her boss.
Others said they felt ‘invisible’ and like they ‘didn’t matter to anyone’ outside of their immediate circle.
And another told academics: ‘There’s a thought that once you go natural with your hair [colour], that you’re “giving up”... Men never seem to get this criticism.’
However, the upsides of going grey were also explored in the paper. Many women said they felt it stopped them from ‘pretending’ to be someone else, while others said they feared that dyeing their hair would make them look fake or like they weren’t ageing gracefully.
People were also more willing to approach and talk to women with grey hair, the survey suggested. One respondent in her seventies wrote: ‘I actually feel that as I have gotten “older” people are nicer to me, kinder to me, and show me more respect than ever in my life before.
‘[They] ask my opinion on certain things, and spend time in deep conversation with me.’
She added: ‘[I am] seen as a resource, a guide, a mentor, a role model and even a mother-substitute.’
Vanessa Cecil, first author of the study, said: ‘We are all constrained by society’s norms and expectations when it comes to appearance but expectations are more rigorous for women – especially older women.
‘The “old woman” is an undesirable character in Western societies, being seen as incompetent or unpleasant – if she is seen at all.’
She added: ‘Although many [women who go grey] reported negative consequences such as being ignored or treated as less competent, they also felt happier to be “flying my natural flag”.
‘We found that women chose to compensate for going grey by using other beauty practices – so embracing grey isn’t the same as embracing looking old.
‘Grey-haired and youthfully glamorous is one thing, but in Western societies it’s still not OK to look old.’
Researchers added that hair dyeing is a ‘common strategy’ which may allow older women to ‘pass as younger and be afforded a higher social status’.
‘It’s still not OK to look old’