Parents told too much praise can harm your child
It may stop them trying, experts warn
EVERY parent is prone to bouts of gushing praise when their little darling achieves yet another milestone.
But now research has suggested that complimenting your child too much can actually be harmful to the youngsters’ development.
Academics warn that while some praise is healthy, lavishing them with an excessive amount can stop a child trying hard.
Lee Elliot Major, professor of social mobility at Exeter University, said: ‘The urge to congratulate children for the smallest of
‘Message of low expectations’
achievements is irresistible for most parents. This, after all, is affirmation for us as much as them. It’s so tempting to think that showering children with positive words will help them.
‘One of the hardest lessons for parents who want the best for their children is to cut down on excessive praise.’
Professor Elliot Major compiled a large body of research backing his theory for his new book, The Good Parent Educator.
A recent study carried out by Professor Robert Coe of Durham University found that too much praise for students who do not perform well ‘conveys a message of low expectations’.
Further work by Ohio state University found praising children led to youngsters selecting easier tasks so they could get the same praise again.
Professor Elliot Major added: ‘Education studies suggest we should praise sparingly so it is valued by children.
‘Being praised for an easy task sends a subliminal message of low expectations.
‘Those well-worn phrases – “you’re such a clever girl”, “you’re brilliant” – should be reserved for special occasions.’
He also said the way a compliment is phrased is equally important. ‘It is better to praise a child’s effort than make generalised judgments about them as a person,’ he added.
‘The problem is that these comments provide no information for moving them on in their learning.
Praising effort, rather than accomplishment, encourages a growth mindset.
‘You should reward children if they put in real effort and hard work, even though they might not be top of the class.
‘It’s best to focus on improving personal bests, rather than comparing with others.’
Professor Elliot Major warned parents who do not encourage a ‘growth mindset’ by providing constructive feedback can cause lasting damage.
He also said tennis star Emma Raducanu was a good example of a high-flyer whose parents had not over-praised her.
After winning the Us Open last month, the 18-year-old said of her parents: ‘They’re my toughest critics and so hard to please – but I got them this time.’