SO, HOW CLOSE ARE WE TO QATAR?

AND you may find yourself in a World Cup play-off semifinal. You may find yourself at Hampden. Or in Madrid. And you may ask yourself: ‘Well, how did I get here?’ Even odd folk who don’t enjoy the music of Talking Heads will understand that Scotland are likely to have a Once In a Lifetime opportunity next March. With two games of our Qatar 2022 qualifying campaign remaining, it would take a spectacular collapse for Steve Clarke’s men NOT to finish second in Group F. Here, Sportsmail takes a look at what happens next.

QATAR 2022, HERE WE COME!

Calm down. We still need to beat Moldova to tie up second place. And then there are the play-offs, where 12 teams will fight over three World Cup spots. But three points in Chisinau next month gets us into a one-legged semi-final, at least.

WHO WOULD WE PLAY?

That all depends. And we might need points from that potential ‘dead rubber’ against Denmark at Hampden to ease our path. From the ten European qualifying groups, the best six runners-up are seeded, with the other four teams — plus two Nations League winners — being unseeded.

The seeded teams are at home for the semis, a huge advantage. And we’d have a 50-50 chance of being drawn at home for our final, should we get through. Can you imagine Hampden for that game?

HOW DO WE STAND AT THE MOMENT?

Currently, Scotland would be seeded. Meaning we’d not only get to play in Glasgow — but that we’d avoid some pretty impressive likely runners-up, such as Spain, Portugal and Croatia. But there are still games to be played, ground to be won and lost.

BEATING MOLDOVA SHOULD HELP, RIGHT?

Obviously it would secure second spot. But, because Scotland are in one of the six-team groups, their results against the bottom side are discounted when tallying up the points totals of all the runners-up. Depending on results elsewhere, we could still need to draw or even beat Denmark to nail down that seeding.

AND THEN?

The semis are scheduled for March 24 and 25, with the finals on March 28 and 29. Oh, coincidentally, an email from Sporting Index just dropped. They still make Scotland only 5-1 to qualify.

IT’S STILL GOING TO BE DIFFICULT, ISN’T IT?

Yep. Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was. Fade…