Ephraim Hardcastle
SOUND the bugles at Royal Lodge! Prince Andrew is back on the Royal payroll! An official government press release clarions Andrew’s visit to Culham Science Centre near Abingdon, Oxfordshire, to witness at first hand its ‘pioneering work on fusion energy’. Alas the statement dates from 2018 and was re-released in error to correct nuclear fusion to fusion energy. Doh! Red faces in Whitehall and back to putting practice for golfer Andrew.
BEFORE meeting the Queen at Windsor Castle, Bill Gates and other financiers at the Global Investment Summit were briefed on how to address the monarch. ‘Ma’am to rhyme with jam,’ explained investment minister Lord Grimstone. With jam unknown in the US – they call it jelly – shouldn’t Grimstone have advised Bill: Ma’am as in wham, bam, thank you mam?
AMID widespread mockery of the new BBC logo – despite the initiative potentially costing up to £2million – Radio 4 Today’s Mishal Husain, pictured, tells listeners: ‘There’s a new logo, which I have to say doesn’t look that different to the old logo.’ Following sarcastic coughs from co-presenter Amol Rajan, Mishal optimistically adds: ‘It’s not necessarily bad to do things incrementally.’ Very diplomatic, Mishal!
SHARP elbows to the fore as BBC stars vie to replace North America editor Jon Sopel who tweets: ‘After seven-plus fab years in DC, three books, three presidents (one kept me busier than others) it’s time to return to the UK and BBC mothership.’ Might his Newsnight chum Emily Maitlis throw her Philip Treacy into the ring?
APPEARING on ITV’s Good Morning
Britain, Nigel Havers remains nonplussed when Alan Partridge-like presenter Richard Madeley asks: ‘Do you ever get mistaken for the Duke of Westminster?’ Nigel responds: ‘Erm, no.’ Gormless Richard appears to be unaware the duke he was referring to, the late Gerald Grosvenor, has been pushing up the daisies since his sudden death, aged 64, in 2016...
NINE months shy of her 90th birthday Lady Glenconner, inspired by the success of her autobiography Lady In Waiting and her novel Murder On Mustique, is writing another memoir. ‘My books have sold very well in the US,’ she confides. ‘ I am a gay icon in Milwaukee, apparently.’
THE late warbler Gerry Marsden, who died in January, would be gratified that You’ll Never Walk Alone is the most requested music for funerals. Recalling his overseas concert when he was asked to sing ‘the pie song’, baffled Gerry said he’d never heard of it. The fan insisted that it was one of his biggest hits – and helpfully repeated the opening lines to the former Gerry and the Pacemakers frontman: ‘When you walk through a storm / Hold your head a pie.’